17 December 2012

Guilty pleasure (not food)

I know Peri will forgive me for this.
Rod Stewart was always my guilty pleasure... His new Christmas album? guilty, guilty guilty pleasure
(on my defense, I only listen to it in private)

13 December 2012

Confessions of a workaholic

It's almost 10PM and we're working.
WE means that on this project there are:
- one director (who has just left),
- two Managers (one is me, one is an American guy that states he comes from Georgia but I think he comes from Jupiter or maybe somewhere more remote)
- three executives: a nice Mexican girl, an Italian Plain Jane, and this chick that thinks she's a genius that's wasted on this job.

I don't really like the last one, who tries to boss around the other two executives, and complains the whole time.

Now it's late, we're all very tired and pissed, and this bitch is eating cookies. Right next to me.
I hope she chokes.

12 December 2012

Wedding thinspo

I still have trouble believing it's for real.

I've been wanting this for so long. No one in my family has reached my age without being married.

Now I really just want to go home and tell my parents.

Here's some wedding thinspo

11 December 2012

lowest weigh of 2012

58.9kg. 129.9 lbs. BMI: 20.6.

Lowest weight of this year (so far).
I'm doing good.
Worked out last night (boot camp at home), went to the gym this morning (ran 7km (4.2 miles) fast), did pull-ups and abs).
This is the current routine:
6.15 - alarm goes off. Snooze it.
6.25 alarm again. Wake up and stumble out of bed.
three times a week I then go to the gym, stepping in at 7 AM. at 8.50 I'm at work.
the other days, I make coffee, go back to bed for breakfast and at 8 I'm at work.
Lunch is either sashimi or tuna salad.
I leave work somewhere between 9 and 11 PM
If I'm home by 10PM, I do half an hour of training with some DVD
I usually chunk down a little something - greens, or even 200kcals in carbs if I have trained at least once during the day (which usually is the case).

And then, bed.

S is away for work, and he'll spend away mondays to fridays for the next 3 months. I can see skinny-ness approaching.

10 December 2012

Boot camp

Too busy to blog gals.... I want to put together a wedding thinspo, but in the meanwhile, check out this:

Amazing boot camp

I'll start this tonight (on top of my usual work-out at the gym)
Please let me know if anyone wants to join me!
I'll start the training program tonight, after Xmas I'll consider the food plan (depending on how I'm doing with the weight). I'd love to have someone to share the motivation with!


03 December 2012

The Deal

I have very little time and I'm quite absent from Blogger lately.
But I feel I have to share this.

I'm getting Married!!

now, you all now I'm as happy as one can be and bla bla

The thing is: now I have no excuses. In order to fit into the dress (which I already have, long story for another day), I need to lose a lot of weight.
Let's start!


23 November 2012

ramblings of an over-worked, over-wight bitch

Work's overwhelming
I have a temperature, probably 'cause I took the flu vaccine yesterday
It always happens to me
I can't spell for fuck's sake today, not in Italian nor in English. (I never could spell in French, so taht doesn't count)

I'm supposed to take full care of one project at a time
I'm on two, and tonight at 20 the dataroom of a third is opening. Yes, firday night. It's because of American Thanksgiving I'm told. Well, fuck it, I'm sorry but should I be thankful for a full weekend of unpaid extra work? because the fuckers didn't manage to open it by wednesday? Fuck them all

Let the skyfall
oh no wait don't
I'm too fat to die, I need to be skinny first, so then I can stay skinny forever

09 November 2012

I'm falling to pieces..

Hungry, for that flesh of mine
But I can't compete with a she wolf who has brought me to my knees


(after 10 days of ban from the gym due to a bad rush on my face (allergies) I'm back to training. so far 360 kcals eaten today, tonight it's going to be binge drinking though... I'll try to stick to smoking instead)

08 November 2012


Next summer will ROCK.

I'm probably going here

And I'm going to be THIS skinny

So, everything will be perfect

(oh, and Mom? last night when I told you I'm not going to have kids, I wasn't lying. Sorry!)

30 October 2012

time for action

Running. Sweating, throwing my legs in front of me for another step.
Panting, breathing, coughing, still running.
On to the pull-ups, my t-shirt is so sweaty it's beyond disgusting.
Drink water
The pull-ups are so hard, I realize even my neck muscles are extremely tense.

Why do they put sugar in vitamin tablets? why?


Count calories.

S wants to stop and buy doughnuts, resist and eat an apple.

Veg soup tonight, two felafel at lunch should be alright. One is more than enough.

I'm wearing a beautiful shirt I haven't fit in for two years.

I'd do anything to stay below 60 kilos now I'm here. I need to get to 55 before Christmas: it's called prevention

26 October 2012


Nepal was amazing as always.
200km on foot, up to 5550mt, days and days of awesomeness.

(somehow, I managed to drop a couple of kilos. Am working to drop more. I hope you are all doing well, I'm slowly catching up on your blogs)

04 October 2012

Thank-you silence

Tomorrow night I'll drive to the lake to see my parents and pack everything, and on Saturday evening I'll be on my flight to Doha (sigh) and then to Kathmandu (yesssss). This morning I trained for the last time, now it's two days of rest before we start hiking.

I can't even tell you how I can't wait!!

It's the third time I have the opportunity to trek in Nepal. Two years ago I was in Khumbu valley up to Everest Base camp, then last year I did the Annapurna trek.
This year it's Khumbu again, but passing through Gokyo instead of the traditional trek, then reaching Kala Pattar through Cho La (LA meas Pass).

The lake scenes of this trailer were filmed where I'll be trekking.

The silence of those places that can only be reached on foot is an experience that everybody coming from Western countries should try once in their lives.

Weightwise, I'm not doing very well; however, I built a lot of muscle and dropped as much fat. Everybody says it shows.

I'll be back on October 24, in the meanwhile, you lovely beings all take care of yourselves.

28 September 2012

Oh Kathmandu

8 days until I leave for Kathmandu, and things just keep getting worse.

First last Sunday my friends were hit by this huge avalanche at Manaslu camp 3.
We were supposed to party together next Sunday in Kat, to celebrate their expedition, but now their client's dead and they're flying home after having saved their own asses by some miracle (one of them climber down from 7000 to 4000 meters in the middle of the night through a fucking monsoon storm BAREFOOT on ice, because his boots and equipment was lost in the avalanche).
It's really a miracle he is coming home WITH both his feet.

Then this morning the flight from Kathmandu to Lukla (the one I'll be taking on Oct. 8) hit an eagle and crashed, no survivors.
(it is not the first time this happens)

The only good news is, the monsoon is expected to finish around next wednesday/thursday.

I want to buy a new saree while in Kat.

Maybe like this one


for sure I want a pre-stitched on and I also want a petticoat and a blouse.

I'll soon be seeing you,
and your strange bewildering time
will hold me down

11 September 2012

There's an old voice in my head, it's my ED talking to me it says it missed our little talks

I don't like walking around this old and empty house
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear
The stairs creak as I sleep, it's keeping me awake
It's the house telling you to close your eyes

Some days I can't even trust myself
It's killing me to see you this way

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
I tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will all be over, buried with our past
You used to play outside when you were young
Full of life and full of love

Some days I don't know if I am wrong and I am right
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

Don't listen to a word I say
The screams all sound the same

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore 

Go, go, go away
I wish you'd disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you

Now we're torn, torn, torn apart
There's nothing we can do
Just let me go, me against you
Now wait, wait, wait for me
Please hang around
I see you when I fall asleep

Don't listen to a word I say
The screams all sound the same 

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore  

As always, in my dreams I'm still skinny, just like I used to be.

10 September 2012

Goodbye my friend

Goodbye my friend.

You have been a good companion, for 9 years you have been always there for us.
You were always home whenever I cam home, waiting for me on the door mat into your small house.

You were always ready to cuddle into my lap, ronfing yourself to sleep, pawning softly my legs.

9 years ago, in early September you came along, 20 days old, meowing in desperation after being abandoned. It was a lovely sunny day, just like yesterday.

You were so shy, you rarely left the garden.

Why did you have to cross the road yesterday?

To whomever hit you with the car:
I know sometimes accidents happens. But you should have stopped to ring my bell. I would have taken you 2 minutes. Instead you just kept driving, leaving Salomé dying there on the concrete. I hope you get run over by a car and that nobody helps you. I hope you lay there suffering too.

I found her laying outside the gate, she tried to come home. I looked to heartbeat and breath, but she was gone already.
I was so annihilated when some people passing by stopped looking at me, crouched by her, I screamed at them.

You were my first and only cat, and I'll never forget you. I miss you so much already, it hurts so badly.

Rest in peace Salomé, my beautiful and loved friend.

07 September 2012

and I'm the only one to blame

it is never enough
whatever I do, it is never enough

I've dropped 2kg of fat over 7 days, yet I somehow managed to gain 1kg of water. screw me

I'm training hard, and most of the time I'm exhausted. I'm also not sleeping well, so on weekends, I try to get some rest through a nap or such. Dad just told me on the phone "I don't want to see you on the couch the whole weekend" (instead of saying "lovely that you're coming to visit").

And work, that's the worst.

when it's good then it's good it's so good
till it goes bad

I'm still trying to find the me I once had

28 August 2012

38 days away

In 38 days I'll be flying to Kathmandu.
Nepal will never lose its charm to me, and I long for the time to come.

This year we have planned a very beautiful trek which also very... challenging.

I realized two things:
1. I'm 62 kilos and that's too heavy for what I'll be doing
2. I'm not trained enough.

So I started putting more miles on the treadmill, and I'll need to train real hard over the next 37 days. Which, of course, will be overall a good thing.

03 August 2012

Fat Lucy

And then you wake up one morning and you wear your favorite top, a skirt and it's summer time and everything looks good.

And then you go to work, and time passes, and a certain email reminds you that another year has gone.

And suddenly you realized you just want to come to an end.

(don't worry, I'll be fine. I suspect this depression may be simply announcing another flu. On Friday, as usual)

27 July 2012

Queen of nothing

I would like to know
whose governing the world,
and what would they say to whose unemployed
I would like to know
how to fall
and then get back up
without hurting.

I'm just a guy
remember I AM
I'm the queen of nothing, and the nothing goes to the best

I am without a bed
but a roof would be enough
at least 'till tomorrow
before the tide rolls in!

Working to count
cannot be defined as orgasmic
better to get mad
than vegetate here

I am without a bed
but a roof would be enough
at least 'till tomorrow
before the tide rolls in!

23 July 2012

Last Wednesday evening a slow depression started building up in my brains.
Thursday I felt slightly unsatisfied, Friday I was def unhappy and badly emotional.
Like, an ambulance passed on the street with sirens on and I had to hide into the bathroom (at work) because I felt I was going to cry.
At this point I realized something was wrong.
When I managed to get home from work (like at 9PM... I'm currently working 8AM to 9 PM Monday to Friday, no overtime paid of course), I was running a fever, and ended up being sick over the whole weekend.


Anyway, lovelies, I'm going to the sea on Saturday... which means wearing a bikini in front of the world... Which is very bad.
I need to starve this week.

16 July 2012

Get the fuck up

It's time to stop the massive bullshit I'm telling myself

I just need to stop the carbs, kick ass at the gym and remember myself that crying about what I am the sole responsible of is downright stupid.

Stop the calories, stop the laziness.
I can do it

(no, I'm not a drunk, and puking on myself is not usual ;-) It was just the consequence of bad dehydration. Although I get tipsy maybe once/twice a month, I don't think I have problems with alcohol.)

Still, I need to remember I have to drink MORE WATER.

12 July 2012

Borotalco, Lucy's madness

Hey lovelies,

the dear bunny Borotalco turned out to be a she-bunny... So now she lives at my parents' place, where she has access to the garden at day time and a big beautiful cage at night (we have foxes roaming at night, so she has to be locked up).
It seems that she is starting to recover from her anxiety, and Bro's kids have been warned that she need to be treated extremely gently.

So that's the good news!

Weight-wise there is no news to speak of, Mom told me last Sunday "Do NOT eat biscuits! What are you, dumb?" Okay, thank-you mom, I got the message right and clear.

Last Friday night I got so annihilated at a party that I practically bit off the neck of a friend (co-worker) in front of half of the office. The funny thing is most of people were so wasted on alcohol that nobody remembers (the exceptions, including me, were annihilated on cocaine, and won't talk about that night).
Then I forgot to drink water when I got home, and didn't drink water for over 20 hours. Combine that with the 30 degrees we're having days and night, and yes, I got sever dehydration. Woke up in the morning, got a bottle of water, and after the first gulp I started puking my brains everywhere in the house. Nooooooot classy, I know.
Proceeded puking at every gulp of water, until the little brains I had left suggested I had ice-cream in the fridge, which proved to be the solution.

I know, I am a total mess.

(once again, there is a good thing: S was snoring all the morning, so he didn't get to see me lying naked on the bathroom floor with vomit tangles in my hair. when he woke up, I was still shaking, but both bathroom and I were cleaned up)

03 July 2012

Welcome my bunny Borotalco

Let's face it: I'm a cow.

So now allow me to move on to more pleasant stuff.
We temporarily have a rabbit at home. It was going to e put down because its previous owner decided they were bored of cleaning the cage... so we offered to take it.

The long term plan is, if it's a male, that it will go to live with Bro's family: they already have a rabbit of the same kind, who is free to roam as it likes in the garden day time (at night we have to lock up animals because of foxes).
If it's a female.. we'll keep her until we find a better solution: truthfully, I hate having animals in cages.

The problem is the poor thing, who's 5 or 6 months old I guess, has never got out of its cage (a small one) for most of its life. Now, I put the cage in the bathroom (only room with no dangers for the rabbit), and I let the cage door open, so it can get in and out as it likes.

After two days, it still doesn't leave the cage!
I don't want to force it out, because the poor bunny is so scared of EVERYTHING already, I'm worried about it!

It looks like this one (very tiny though, and with more black - less white). we named it Borotalco.

26 June 2012

Small reflections

1. Pinterest really should be named "Thinterest". It IS the biggest thinspiration source EVER.
2. I'm as heavy as a cow and possibly fatter
3. While working 60h a week can somehow be doable in winter, switching to 65h in summertime kind of sucks
4. It's too hot to run

30 May 2012

10 days in paradise


I'm flying out to the Greek islands tomorrow.

10 days of sun, swimming, sun tanning, and NO NO NO weighting

I love you all



15 May 2012

peanuts and toothbrush

Who tough me the toothbrush trick?

I don't remember, I try to think about it while keeping the blessed object stuck into my throat, while all the peanuts I binged on just a few minutes ago come up and fall in to the toilet.
I keep the toothbrush in the same place until I can no longer breathe, and only then I take it out, avoiding to look at it.

I wipe the face, clean the toothbrush, use it for its proper scope (which, in case you forgot, is brushing the teeth, and not puking, although it serves both perfectly).

I check the eyes in the mirror, re-touch my concealer, wear my best smile. Steve's at the door, it's time to go out for drinks. "Did you eat something?"

"Sure" I smile, and I'm not even lying

11 May 2012

Their legs are amazing

All of a sudden, it's summertime. We go to Cavalli's place for a party, and the girls are wearing short dresses and high heel, and their legs are amazing. In my black pants and top, I feel out of place. I feel disgusting. In 20 days I'm leaving for Greece, so I go downtown to buy a new bikini matching the saree I bought last year in Nepal, in a peculiar shade of fuchsia. Then I try on some pants at Nadine, and I can't even button them. I start sniffing in the changing room, then proceed telling myself "you're not crying, it's only allergies". I'm hitting the gym 4 times a week, but apparently it's useless. The doctor puts me on the balance and the weight never goes down. She says I'm gaining so much muscle, and losing a lot of fat, and I put on 2.5kg of water weight over the last 15 days. I stare blankly as she sights and gives me some magic powder that's supposed to make the water magically disappear. "Are you eating? Seriously I mean" "Doctor, I'm over 130lbs. Do you think I'd be such a mess if I had stopped eating?" Truthfully, over the last three months, I've only felt at ease when on cocaine. (And even then, I'm still conscious of how their legs are amazing)

02 May 2012

This girl
is my new junior at work. Photoshop? no, she's even better looking and skinnier in real life. I never felt so ugly before. I don't think I'll ever touch carbs again. For the rest of my life.

27 April 2012

Sand in my brains

I go on like a robot, dragging myself to work every morning, going to the gym, smiling and answering kindly. Something's wrong, many things are wrong, and I don't know where to start in order to do some spring cleaning in this mess. And then like a ray of light I realize I long so badly for being in Nepal. For spending days away from the frantic, from the smog, from the telephones and emails. Where the soul would be in harmony with the body Where the fat wouldn't matter so much The friends are moving abroad, one by one, they've been doing that for years. I'm the only one who came back. As they leave, my loneliness increases, becoming more and more intoxicating.

06 April 2012

Ana Cobra Starship tribute (HELL YES)

129.9lbs this morning. FINALLY breaking the 130 wall.
I know Easter is ahead, but right now I feel soooooo goooooood
BMI 20.6

2 more kilos and BMI will be below 20.
I'm starting to think I can manage to reach 54 by May 31 (leaving for Greece on that day)

You were a problem child
been grounded your whole life
so now you're running wild...

You think you're hot shit, uh I love it...

Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine! Keep doing what you're doing!!!!

Well you're a HOT MESS
and I'm falling for you

You're a hot mess,
I'm loving it HELL YES!!!

(If you're dancing on the table you go you gotta go, dancing on the tables, they say that you're unstable, you're a hot mess!!)

and, above all, my favorite quote:
I make the good girls go bad!
(you make me wanna lose control!)

Happy Easter girls!!


04 April 2012

O Fortuna (oh destiny)

O Fortuna
velut luna
statu variabilis,

semper crescis
aut decrescis;
vita detestabilis
nunc obdurat
et tunc curat
ludo mentis aciem,
dissolvit ut glaciem.

Sors immanis
et inanis,
rota tu volubilis,
status malus,
vana salus
semper dissolubilis,
et velata
michi quoque niteris;
nunc per ludum
dorsum nudum
fero tui sceleris.

Sors salutis
et virtutis
michi nunc contraria,
est affectus
et defectus
semper in angaria.
Hac in hora
sine mora
corde pulsum tangite;
quod per sortem
sternit fortem,
mecum omnes plangite!

For translation : http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/O_Fortuna
For the music : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZ71CQiDBpY&feature=related

And, shall we talk about my weight? semper crescis, aut decrescis... detestabilis!!

30 March 2012

In the rut

Allergie are killing me. I can't breathe, can't sleep, can't stay away, I just keep coughing.

BMI: 20.8

Even the dietologist is unhappy with me.
I am most unhappy with myself.

Can I go to sleep and wake up in three months? please?

I need to stop eating.

23 March 2012

Out of the blue

BMI 20.9


Yet, the doctor complimented me so much because apparently I keep loosing fat and building muscles. It is true I'm training a lot, but honestly?
I want to see 120
(and then 110)
(and then 100)

But I guess it's better than nothing.

And then I went home this afternoon, to spend the weekend with the Parents.
And then, the sponsor (aka dad), out of the blue, said "You're really fit now, totally in good shape".

And that, my darlings, made my day.

(just to make Parents place safe, I bought an incredible amount of safe food (no carbs, no fat). Hopefully I can survive the weekend without ruining everything).

Spring has come lovelies. Time to get ready for that bikini you just saw while window shopping. You can do it!

19 March 2012


On Saturday morning Steve had to see is brothers and dropped me off at a mall.
BIG MISTAKE: I practically burnt my american express.
I didn't really buy clothes, because I felt bloated, but I got a scarf

some lingerie from Tezenis (girls, check out the new extra padded bra collection! I've been somewhere between a cup B and C for my whole adult life, but that thing is AMAZING!!), books, socks for Steve, and some lipstick...

Saturday night was good, I got plenty of compliments on my black dress (since it's low cut, the new bra was amazing!) but of course I ate way too much over the weekend. This week should finally be a little less demanding at work, so I'm planning some detox diet and a lot of gym (I started on the good way by hitting the gyum this morning).

How are you lovelies? I hope you all have a good week!

15 March 2012

Slightly better

Past the mirror, this is a no-return mission. Further away than the stars, the destination may be in a different galaxy, where people live loving themselves for what they are, and never hating what they'll never achieve.

And there, there may be suns and flowers, peace rituals and no differences. Same things and different shapes, so far away there are planets where things don't drive you mad.

PS. I managed to plant my Japanese cherry with Steve's help. A bonsai wouldn't do: it's already 1 meter tall!
Work is still very bad, and I'm attending a party on Saturday night. Little black dress I guess (although I'm way to fat to wear it). The chick who's throwing the party has lost 22kg last year. Granted, she's still fatter than I am, but she's doing amazingly good. I'll only eat and drink whatever she eats/drinks.

13 March 2012


I bought a new tree for my balcony.
A Japanese cherry tree, the kind that makes so many flowers in spring.
The dietologist gave me a detox 3 days diet.

All I've asked was to leave work at 6.30, for once, because my tree was delivered today. And I needed to shop for my detox diet.

My tree will probably die, because I won't be able to plant it.
My diet, let's forget about it.

Because I won't leave work before midnight.

I really need t go to the toilet and cry a little.

12 March 2012

Longing for something different

The work trip to Germany represented all I want to stay away from: beer, fat food, carbs and lots of sexism.

Last night I had a nightmare, in which Steve dumped me calling me a fat cow. Steve, in the real world, thinks I am thin (how silly and lovely he can be).

Over last weekend, surrounded by spring at the lake, everything seemed achievable.
Driving towards the city's smog on Sunday night, melancholy came back inevitably. I can't stand this life anymore, and yet I can't seem to move forward. I want so badly to get married, and yet, I wonder when did I become so desperate about this?

I am planning next journey to Nepal, October 2012. Will I be strong enough to come back from there? I long for a life spent walking in the trees, crossing mountains, with only basic food and no temptations, where pleasure is achieved by laying in sun reading a book or stepping into a warm water spring to wash away the dirt from your skin.
Gokyo lakes, Cho La, Kala Pattar, the mystical Tengboche. Skinny boys and girls wearing the monks red robes.

I'll try fasting over a couple of days, maybe it will smooth my edgy feelings.

06 March 2012

There is a job.

Like no job on Earth.
A job full of wonder, mystery, and danger!
Some say to survive it
You need to be as mad as a hatter.
Which luckily I am.

Or maybe, on second thought, I am not.

I have been living on sandwiches at some random desk at work for 14 days. How am I supposed to get skinny? People won't let me in peace and skip meals. I take the ham and the cheese out of the sandwiches, and I end up eating bread and salad, but hello? bread is not okay.

(by the way, I love it when the MAd Hatter says "Why are you always of the wrong size?")

28 February 2012

How am I supposed to concentrate on work, when I haven't been able to step on the scale (since I'm away from home due to work) this morning?
How can I focus on changes in sales, when I don't know the changes in my weight?

Luckily I'm going home tonight

Sorry for the lack of posting lovelies.
I need to focus on the weight.

I still read you though.

09 February 2012

Tummy thinspo

On May 31 I'm going to Greece for 10 (deserved) days of vacation with Steve.

This is what I want to look like.

01 February 2012

Motivation of the day

I always lost weight during snowy winters - why shouldn't I be able to do the same this year?

24 January 2012

Quick update

Dear lovelies,

I'm having a hectic week... in a few hours I'm flying to Denmark, and I'll be back on Thursday night. I'm working very hard on a German project, and, at the same time, I'm passing 4 interviews this week for an amazing job (amazingly well paid).
Guess who recommended me for the Job?
Why, Wolverine of course!

While life's complicated, I met the doctor on Friday and she was happy with my achievements (I dropped 1.8kg over last week, or 4lbs). Let's hope this week goes the same way. I binged over food, alcohol (and something else) last Saturday, but apart from that slip I've been a good girl, anyway I shall see the doctor on Friday so we'll see.

16 January 2012

The Diet - week 1

My new diet will evolve on weekly basis, since I have a weekly appointment with the doctor.
Given my bad habit of eating huge amounts of carbs, she asked me to cut off carbs for the first week, but for breakfast.
Considering my workout plan, she prescribed some low fat cookies or some bread or skimmed milk with Special K plus fresh orange juice for breakfast.
Lunch shall consist of:
- fish OR 1 egg
- salad
- cooked vegetables
- a small slice of bread
- no fat yoghurt

- fish OR 1 egg
- ricotta or light cottage cheese
- vegetables
- fruit

In addition, I'm allowed two fruits snacks over the day and, when for generic reasons (I often eat out due to work) I can't find anything satisfying, I'm allowed some plain rice.

What I especially liked of the doctor is that she seems a no nonsense person. Like, before I even asked, she said that of course there are occasions in which for social reasons I won't be able to stick to the plan, but I should not worry about it; instead, she told me to make sure that on the next day I drink a lot of water and that I eat pineapple (apparently it helps dealing with fat food).

13 January 2012



I've seen a diet specialist this morning. I'm in love her. When I talked about my goals, she did say it's more than I need, but then proceeded adding: the important thing is that you reach a weight that makes you feel comfortable with your body.
Now, I shall not disappoint her, right?

have a lovely weekend!

09 January 2012

Civil War - part II

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
some men, you just can't reach..

Wolverine has put his 2 weeks. He's leaving. My boss is leaving and I'll be damned, for now nobody's gonna stand up for me when promotion time comes, or when salary raise time comes and so on. The whole team I devoted myself to over the last 12 months has left!!!
And he didn't even warn me. I thought we were friends, I really did.

(all these dreams are swept aside)

In the meanwhile, I spent 4 consecutive days stuffing my face with food, proceeded weighting myself this morning, proceeded choking when the scale showed up 137.1lbs, proceeded hitting the gym and running 10km (6miles) at a good pace, and then here at work. UGH. My life needs improvement.

I hope you're all doing good!

05 January 2012

Looking for the skinny girl hidden underneath my fat

If there is one thing I am not, and I have never been, is creative.
Yet I always longed to be one of this talented people who can draw, paint, play an instrument, write something, in an amazing way.
I just don't have this kind of talents and I'm not going to set for something "good enough", so I just leave things at that.

But one thing I used to be. Skinny, that is.

Time flies, and it seems only yesterday I was the skinniest girl in my high school.

This year, I need to reshape my body into a better me.
Since I'm not managing to do it on my own, I just signed up for a check with a doctor who will give me a diet made up accordingly to my food limitations (no meat, and fish only if raw). I know that the first reaction will be that I don't need to drop any more than 2 kg and even that wouldn't be considered as "necessary" (hah hah! what do THEY know?), but I'll make things clear and set out a goal that won't be considered as mad. Then I'll have to report twice a week, so that should me my main motivation, because hey, this is like school, if you don't get good grades it can only mean you're getting bad grades, right?

So far, I'm doing very badly with the weight (I gained 1kg in barely three days), but I'm doing well with my training goals. Tomorrow I'll go skiing (freeriding) with the Sonsor (dad) and Bro, and that is likely to kick my metabolism (a full day of freeriding just the three of us can mean 2000kcals burned in addition to the basal metabolism).

I hope you're doing good lovelies, and if you live in Italy, ask books or clothes for the Befana. don't be tricked with chocolate! ;-)

02 January 2012

Happy new year!

Dear lovelies,

I've been a poor blogger over the last few weeks, and I apologize.

Now in first place: HAPPY NEW YEAR!! May you find peace, love, and the exact weight and shape you wish for, and everything else you long for in 2012.

As for me, I want to drop the fat of course.
Now I noticed that a good start is essential in order to achieve our goals in life.
So I decided to hit the gym yesterday (January 1), of course it was closed.
BUT I didn't spend the whole day on the couch. Instead, I cleaned up the house, re-organized the kitchen pantry, ironed and took care of Steve (who's sick, poor baby).
I have been sick on and off over the whole month of December, now I'm going to take good care of myself.

Oh, and today I am skipping lunch and hitting the gym at noon (going to run 10km / 6 miles).

Good luck for this brand new year babies!!