28 September 2012

Oh Kathmandu

8 days until I leave for Kathmandu, and things just keep getting worse.

First last Sunday my friends were hit by this huge avalanche at Manaslu camp 3.
We were supposed to party together next Sunday in Kat, to celebrate their expedition, but now their client's dead and they're flying home after having saved their own asses by some miracle (one of them climber down from 7000 to 4000 meters in the middle of the night through a fucking monsoon storm BAREFOOT on ice, because his boots and equipment was lost in the avalanche).
It's really a miracle he is coming home WITH both his feet.

Then this morning the flight from Kathmandu to Lukla (the one I'll be taking on Oct. 8) hit an eagle and crashed, no survivors.
(it is not the first time this happens)

The only good news is, the monsoon is expected to finish around next wednesday/thursday.

I want to buy a new saree while in Kat.

Maybe like this one


for sure I want a pre-stitched on and I also want a petticoat and a blouse.

I'll soon be seeing you,
and your strange bewildering time
will hold me down

11 September 2012

There's an old voice in my head, it's my ED talking to me it says it missed our little talks

I don't like walking around this old and empty house
So hold my hand, I'll walk with you, my dear
The stairs creak as I sleep, it's keeping me awake
It's the house telling you to close your eyes

Some days I can't even trust myself
It's killing me to see you this way

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

There's an old voice in my head that's holding me back
I tell her that I miss our little talks
Soon it will all be over, buried with our past
You used to play outside when you were young
Full of life and full of love

Some days I don't know if I am wrong and I am right
Your mind is playing tricks on you my dear

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore

Don't listen to a word I say
The screams all sound the same

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore 

Go, go, go away
I wish you'd disappear
All that's left is a ghost of you

Now we're torn, torn, torn apart
There's nothing we can do
Just let me go, me against you
Now wait, wait, wait for me
Please hang around
I see you when I fall asleep

Don't listen to a word I say
The screams all sound the same 

Because though the truth may vary
This ship will carry
Our bodies safe to shore  

As always, in my dreams I'm still skinny, just like I used to be.

10 September 2012

Goodbye my friend

Goodbye my friend.

You have been a good companion, for 9 years you have been always there for us.
You were always home whenever I cam home, waiting for me on the door mat into your small house.

You were always ready to cuddle into my lap, ronfing yourself to sleep, pawning softly my legs.

9 years ago, in early September you came along, 20 days old, meowing in desperation after being abandoned. It was a lovely sunny day, just like yesterday.

You were so shy, you rarely left the garden.

Why did you have to cross the road yesterday?

To whomever hit you with the car:
I know sometimes accidents happens. But you should have stopped to ring my bell. I would have taken you 2 minutes. Instead you just kept driving, leaving Salomé dying there on the concrete. I hope you get run over by a car and that nobody helps you. I hope you lay there suffering too.

I found her laying outside the gate, she tried to come home. I looked to heartbeat and breath, but she was gone already.
I was so annihilated when some people passing by stopped looking at me, crouched by her, I screamed at them.

You were my first and only cat, and I'll never forget you. I miss you so much already, it hurts so badly.

Rest in peace Salomé, my beautiful and loved friend.

07 September 2012

and I'm the only one to blame

it is never enough
whatever I do, it is never enough

I've dropped 2kg of fat over 7 days, yet I somehow managed to gain 1kg of water. screw me

I'm training hard, and most of the time I'm exhausted. I'm also not sleeping well, so on weekends, I try to get some rest through a nap or such. Dad just told me on the phone "I don't want to see you on the couch the whole weekend" (instead of saying "lovely that you're coming to visit").

And work, that's the worst.

when it's good then it's good it's so good
till it goes bad

I'm still trying to find the me I once had