Ouch, I have done it again.
Binged last night, while I had been doing well over the last few days.
I had lost almost 3lbs, now I’m back to 124.5 (56.5kg). No one else to blame, it’s all my fault.
The reason I do this to myself is simple: I am awfully unhappy. I miss Steve and work is hell on earth. Now I just found out that on Monday and Tuesday, when Steve will be here, I will be sent away for work. Needless to say, Steve works as much as I do, so he doesn’t even have the time to talk to me.
So I’m on my own on this: an old buddy of mine (used to be my boss ages ago) wants me to join his company. It’s a start-up, but he’s offering me def. better money than I’m doing now. And of course, should thing work well for him, I’d be in from the beginning (he set up the business at the end of last year). Yet, should things turn bad for him… in this economy.. what would I do? Oh, and of course we’re talking about a 65+ hours a week kind of job.
The truth is I hate changing job, I hate the stress that comes with it, but it may be time to show some guts and do it.
I cannot change the “Steve is so far away” situation, can I? Also, being so unhappy doesn’t help. I cannot stop thinking how better things would be if he was here. He’s putting a lot of pressure on me ‘cause he’d want me in London, but there is no way I’m moving. And since I’m an awful bitch, I’m afraid at some point I will start resenting him for not being here with me. Because in the end, let’s face it: he chose London over me.
So my life sucks right now. And I’m fat.