Then this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised

(to my ED) But you'll always be my hero, even though you've lost your mind I keep swinging. I don't even ultra-super-mega binge. Honest. I never get to the point I consider puking. Then I realize I've fagocitated 2500kcals in a single day. ...and it's sick that all these battles, are what keeps me satisfied... I don't know. My mounth is still tore up due to the tooth estraction, therefore puking is not an option. I've never been much of a MIA, but I'm considering this: I need to drop the fat. I must stop the binge. Therefore, (as soon as my mouth heals), I may consider throwing up after bingeing, as a punishment (I don't believe in throwing up for losing weight: it takes 20minutes to absorb the calories; my massive overeating happens at the parents' place, where coffee goes on for a while after eating, so puking would happen too late to help). Effing disgusting, I know. I must stop running away, and start facing reality. Each calory counts. At least I'm still training hard.. On to another subject. Bloggers sometimes disappear. Sometimes someone we specially care for disappears, and when it's within the blogorexia, it's often scary. Did they drop out because they're happy? I hope so, but often don't believe it. Marcus from Do you like lemones? disappeared, and even cancelled his blog. Marcus, I hope you're doing great, but I miss you. Miss Burton, on the other hand, may be back. I really hope she decides to come back to the blogorexia, because I missed her too! Belle, who later turned into Rogue, is another beautiful person I lost track of. And I think everybody remembers (wonders?) about Ana Regziz. Love you all sweeties. I'm not commenting much, but I'm still reading!