Signs of "normal" ahead

 The moment I stepped into the venue, a song from my pre-teen years started playing. The venue was entirely reserved for our party, and the sound was a bit eerie. It so sounds like my life with this job, and it goes, more or less like this (with some minor, liberal changes in the translation).

It's useless to talk about it, you'd never understand. I follow you anywhere, just to see where you lead me; I feel a bit childish, but I know you won't stop the dream of living in a movie.

And suddenly, you came into my life - I don't know who decided it, but I found myself in a daily struggle with rationality, and it is fine, as long as it brings me forward.

How come? What are you? To do this to me?

Nights and days all over you, caring for you

Tell me how come? What are you? To do this to me?

All this time for you, praying for a yes.

I know it sounds silly, but it didn't. Even more so when I later found out that my husband had asked the guys from the venue to play this when we walked in <3

The party was amazing, and I think part of that was due to the fact that it had been so long since the last time the team was able to gather and party properly, which used to be one of the beautiful things of this job and completely and suddenly disappeared 16 months ago.

My team was adorable - they even gifted me with a bottle of Sassicaia (honestly, they shouldn't have) - when they kicked us out because we were violating the curfew, they bought me the silly crown below. The pic is from the morning after.

I've also received my first shot of Pfizer and so did husband - we're scheduled for the second one mid-July. I cannot wait to go back to normal life.

One moment in time

I've lived to be
The very best
I want it all
No time for less
I've laid the plans
Now lay the chance
Here in my hands

Give me ONE MOMENT IN TIME
When I'm more than I thought I could be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel
I will feel eternity

You're a winner for a lifetime
If you seize that one moment in time
Make it shine

(Whitney Houston)

In case you are still wondering, I'm heading to the party in honor of my promotion to equity partner. 

It's been a crazy week, with even a couple of tears in honor of the young, skinny, naive girl who always thought she wasn't good enough for this and she needed to find a job, who faced things a person shouldn't have to face, who messed up, cleaned up her mess, who stood up straight.

Now it's time for fun - like an idiot I forgot the coke at home but I'm sure it'll be fun - it doesn't even matter I'm not skinny tonight. Tonight, it's about what I've done and what I've achieved.

Wedding party

At our friends wedding, we're having big fun. Many of these people work for TV, and they know how to throw a party.

It's the end of August, the last real day of summer, and everyone feels this (despite the heat that is still going on and on and on, relentless over the past three months and tonight). Everyone is having fun, but they seem to put some extra energy in their having fun.

It seems like a scene from The Great Gatsby.

Crossing the renaissance villa's Italian gardens (facing the sea), I see my husband. standing tall and suntanned among the other people. His back straight, his stance confident, he's one of the few men who do not look overwhelmed by the heat. He's confident, at ease.

And I remember when I met him, it was so clear he was the only one for me.
We both knew it, right away, and as the years went on, things got more difficult - we were faced with more challenges.

I begged him to stay, try to remember what we had in the beginning.

He is charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knows it. When he walks in, everyone stands up to talk to him.

I always have the sense that he is torn between being a good person and missing out on all the opportunities that life can offer a man as magnificent as him.

And in that way, I... understand him.

And I love him, I love him, I love him.



Post Scritptum
the politics opportunity is real. But
 would anyone really want to get involved in politics in this country?
 this people have a lot to hide, and I know some. I know they earn a lot that if off the records, and I'm not sure if there is worse than that
So I don't really think I'll do it.
I'm not going to say I sleep easily, as anxiety is big these days. But at least it's anxiety about what I do, and it's not guilty feeling (ok, lots of guilty feelings 'bout food, but you know what I mean LOL).

Instructions on how to survive New Years Eve for a wannabe skinny

Disclaimer:
as you may have noticed, this is a strictly over 18 blog. I do not encourage doing what I write bout in any way.

FIRST
Wear something comfortable. The other girls, all wrapped in too tight dresses, will look fatter, you'll feel better.

SECOND
When you get to your friends house, check out the food and compliment the cooks. Before dinner I mean!

THIRD
When someone starts pouring aperitivo, excuse yourself and go to the bathroom. Blow a small line, oh, and before you buy some random coke, be sure the yours is cut with both novocaine AND laxies.

FOURTH
Drink some aperitivo. By this time, your from teeth will start feeling awkward. The bubbles from the champagne will increase this feeling. Try to staff some salted food in your mouth. It will taste like cardboard. Don't forget to keep complimenting the cook (with words, not facts).
By the first course, all your hunger will be forgotten.

Keep repeating when needed.

On the next days, avoid public activities as much as possible. You will poop often and conspicuously.
Don't forget to have fun and drink a lot of water!

Remember lovelies - bikini season's coming soon.