28 November 2011

Para para paradise

A bit of nostalgia over the amazing places I've trek through.... Luckily, Steve is back home, for good.
I thought I'd share some pics.

after the monsoon, waterfalls are at their best, and villagers build swings for their kids

Fat Lucy wondering "Will this thing hold my weight?"

Over the harvest season, Tibetan refugees work hard

Annapurna literally means Goddess of the harvest

Yaks look so lovely, and yet, can be really aggressive... mind these horns!

Early start in the morning, in order to reach the pass

At 5.416mt one would think one would feel high... Yet, you get to see Dhaulagiri, almost 3000mt higher...

22 November 2011


In first place, I would ask you not to judge.

In second place, please skip this post entirely if you feel that you can’t stand talking about drugs, if you hate drugs, and even more if you’re insanely attracted to drugs.

I mean it, okay?

When I was 18, for almost one year I did a lot of drugs.

Even though I have no regrets, when I say a lot, I mean, well, a lot. Like, over 3 grams of coke every week, plus lots of weed and occasional other recreational things (like, twice a month something else on top).

After 9 months or so, I realized that the boy I was dating and I were on different paces: recreational for me, addiction for him. Eventually, after cutting drugs off my life, I cut him off as well, because we made different choices.

Nowadays I’m basically clean, by which I mean that I may smoke (very little) weed a couple times a year, and same thing for the white stuff (of course not at the same times). Considering I don’t smoke cigarettes at all, I’m fine with this lifestyle, and please, I don’t need judgments.

However, let’s face the truth: cocaine makes things damn easy. Not only I feel no urge to eat, on the last two times I did it, on the next day I went running and girls, it was AMAZING. It makes me feel like I could run forever, and I manage to keep a faster pace than usual (two months ago I managed to keep a 11.5km per hour pace for 6.5km, which is a little over 4 miles I think).

Two people in my family are cardiologists, so yes, I know everything about the side effects. I repeat, I’m not a regular. I will never be. I have no urge towards drugs.

But girls, I could almost entirely stop eating through it.

17 November 2011

Inception - the dream is collapsing

"Well dreams, they feel real while we're in them, right? It's only when we wake up that we realize that something was actually strange. Let me ask you a question, you...you never really remember the beginning of a dream, do you? You always wind up right in the middle of what's going on."

I love how Marion Cotillard is skinny...

08 November 2011

Someone like you (Adele)

I heard that you’re settled down, that you found a (skinny) girl

and you’re married now, I heard that your dreams came true

I guess she gave you things I didn’t give to you

(And I heard she’s skinnier than I’ve ever been too)

Old friend, why are you so shy (and why are you still so skinny and gorgeous?)

ain’t like you to hold back, or hide from the light (oh no it ain’t like you, remember how you used to hit on me all the time?)

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited, but I couldn’t stay away I couldn’t fight it

(but I would only do that in my dreams I'm too fat to show up)

I hoped you’d see my face and be reminded that for me it isn’t over

(and it’ll never be, this ED will never be over)


I’ve find someone better than you

I wish nothing but the best for you two

don’t forget me, I beg (I still beg to get skinny)

I’ll remember you said (yeah you said I was getting fat and you were damn right)

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

(and sometime one just gets fat instead, like I did)

sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead

(and yes sometimes ED hurt)

you know how the time flies

only yesterday (well.. only 7 years ago that is)

it was the time of our lives (yes it was because I was so skinnier than I am now... even though not skinny enough apparently)

we were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by the surprise of our glory days (oh yes I was skinny it was glorious)

I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn’t stay away I couldn’t fight it

I hoped you’d see my face and be reminded that for me it isn’t over (and when are EDs over?)


I’ve found someone like you (better than you actually)

I wish nothing but the best for you too

don’t forget me I beg I’ll remember you said sometimes it lasts in love

but sometimes it hurts instead

nothing compares

no worries or cares

regrets and mistakes (of binges)

and memories made

who would have known

how bittersweet

this (EDNOS) would taste


I’ll find my skinny body again

I wish nothing but the best

for you too

don’t forget me

i beg (‘cause one day I’ll be skinnier than your wife and why should her name be Anya after all? One could simply say you married ANA instead of me. And I promise it, but not to you, I promise to MYSELF THAT I'LL GET FUCKING SKINNY NO MATTER THE PRICE)

I’ll remember you said

sometimes it lasts in love

but sometimes it hurts instead

(This, is B)

07 November 2011

Family drama - Fitness thinspo

Previously on Waiting for the miracle to come:

Grandfather: about 10 days ago, he went nuts and hit multiple times my grandmother with his crutches. Both of them are 88, both have serious health issues, and lived at home. After the hitting and another violent outbreak, and he begged us to take him away from home, we found him a place in a nursing home, which is honestly not bad, in a nice place with a great view (and that charges us 2.500 Euros a week - over 3 thousand USD).
From then, it's been downhill, and not in a good way: after a couple of days he started forgetting things, then stopped eating and so on.

In this episode
After working on Saturday (fuck), yesterday I went with the Sponsor (aka Dad) to see Grandfather. In addition to not eating, he's completely lost his mind (in less than 10 days). He has no clue about where he is, is desperate to go home.
Grandmother, however, is having serious problems and may need to replace her knee prosthesis, which at 88 is no small deal.
Dad is not doing good either, working too much and with too many things on his shoulders, the last thing he needed right now was facing his own crying father, who was begging to be taken home.
And in this mess, nobody even guessed that he could stay with my parents: when they got married, he cut them financially, and never ever helped them out, so the Panther (aka Mom) pretty much hates him, and can't really be blamed for that, so there's no way in hell she would agree to look after him. Dad, on the other side, works well over 70 hours every week, so he's no option either.

All in all, this was deeply depressing. I'll try to use these nursing home souvenirs as a motivator for hitting the gym more often.

In the meanwhile, have some fitness thinspo and motivators!

winner of NYC Marathon 2011 (woman)

05 November 2011

not good

I am so fucking fat that my stockings hurt my leg badly by 2PM at work.


Have a nice weekend lovelies

02 November 2011

Never Let Me Go (From The Million Dollar Hotel Soundtrack)

Autumn thinspo

I couldn't make it for Halloween... Sorry guys. Some huge family issues came up.
Anyway, here's my Autums thinspo, hope you like it!

Allow me to begin with... Autumn Reeser!

Fallen leaves make the season, don't they?

Alessandra Ambrosio is always my fave

Pumpkin anyone???

Sally and Jack are so skinny..