First day of summer

 Happy Memorial day to US readers!

 

Weight update:

I started this year at 75kg (165lbs, BMI: 26). Am currently at 66kg (145lbs, BMI: 22.8).

It would have been a 65 had I not been in Madrid last week (lus last Saturday - more below; however, Madrid was good. It was a meeting of the western Europe leadership for work, and everybody commented on how great I looked. At almost 44, this is still a trigger and I'm afraid I will not get better - I enjoy compliments.

 

 Tomorrow I am seeing the dietician - I was supposed to reach  65, but again, with three weeks of work-related travel, I feel it's still okay, but I'm keen to see if he will change the diet or not. I kind of hope not as I'm genuinely enjoying what I'm eating, but we'll see.

 

I have two goals that are so different from each other it's almost laughable. First one (I'm almost there): no chafing tights when I walk. I've been wearing shorts under dresses for so many years…. I think if I drop a couple more kg I will get there.

Second goal: I'd really like to get a 6pack again. I know, this is pure vanity but… I even have a few pcs from AFTER I got married where I sported a 6 pack. But I think I need to be max 55-56kg for this and it's a long way from where I am now so we'll see. I probably need an intermediate goal (first number to be a 5 - at 59kg I would be 130lbs or BMI 20.4).

 

I wrote that I'm fighting for my marriage to work - and I am. For the weekend I organized something: my team had gifted me a wine experience at Masi, a fine producer of Amarone in the North East of Italy, that involved a guided tour, wine tasting (5 wines) and lunch - so I booked and we went. I convinced husband to take the roof off the car (we have a small convertible) and it really was the first day of summer, we enjoyed the escapade a lot. Of course it was a disaster diet-wise, but at least I skipped dinner. There was also some sex on Sunday (but guess who got things started?).

 

Mischief called me on Friday night as he was heading to a show at the Sphere in Vegas and spent one hour on the phone. Half of it was in relation to some investment he wants to make and he asked if I could help him with this, which I'm happy to do. No he's not exploiting me - and he has helped me with getting insights and collabs with other West Coast people in our organization, which is not a given at all trust me.

 

A couple of pictures: first one was taken over our wine experience, and second in Madrid by a silly colleague

and what if I did it again?

I do not expect anyone to be reading this from back in 2010. But back then I did drop a lot of weight, managed to reach a healthy BMI for once, with 115 pounds and BMI of 18.2.
I had abs showing
I started dating husband.

On this Sunday morning, while working (of course), writing slides on powerpoint and managing some admin stuff, I suddenly thought: and what if I really did it again? Instead of just blogging, obsessing and complaining. What I mean is, what would change if I did it again?

Beside the obvious joy I mean.
Work-wise, for example, it would not make things easier, quite the contrary. Sad but true, being the "once she was a real hottie" is much easier.


I can't control this flesh and blood
That's wrapped around my bones
It moves beneath me like a river
Into the great unknown

Nel deserto la nave abbandonai
Per me aveva senso
Son stato troppo tempo nella bestia
Ed ora saro libero

Someday we'll live like horses
Free rein from your old iron fences
There's more ways than one to regain your senses
Break out the stalls and we'll live like horses someday

Elton John and Luciano Pavarotti, Live like horses

I abandoned my ship in the desert

It made sense

Too much time being a beast

And now I will be free

MRI outcome

The not so bad news is I did not gain weight over the weekend. I trained, ate about one thousand deep fried pumpkin flowers, one shit ton of salad, and somehow, maintained.

The bad news is, I got my MRI scheduled on Monday, and the outcome is, while the bones are fine (which is good I admit), the tendons of both my hips are not fine.
And this means, I'm supposed to stop training.

Now, this is not going to happen.
I'm getting married in 35 days and I'm supposed to fit into that fucking tight dress I bought.

The upside is they gave me different painkillers which are also supposed to smooth the problem, and those DO work, so finally I'm walking almost like a normal girl.
Also, I'm seeing a physiotherapist on weekends.

I did drop the 30 days shred at day 24 (many of the moves hurt too much), and I cannot run.
I have picked up the 6pack6weeks by Jillian Michaels, and I'll try to do the elliptical machine at the gym.
Honestly, this whole thing pisses me off so much I can't even tell you.

Stop training for one month means throwing away months of fatigue and sweat. I hate it!