30 May 2012

10 days in paradise


I'm flying out to the Greek islands tomorrow.

10 days of sun, swimming, sun tanning, and NO NO NO weighting

I love you all



15 May 2012

peanuts and toothbrush

Who tough me the toothbrush trick?

I don't remember, I try to think about it while keeping the blessed object stuck into my throat, while all the peanuts I binged on just a few minutes ago come up and fall in to the toilet.
I keep the toothbrush in the same place until I can no longer breathe, and only then I take it out, avoiding to look at it.

I wipe the face, clean the toothbrush, use it for its proper scope (which, in case you forgot, is brushing the teeth, and not puking, although it serves both perfectly).

I check the eyes in the mirror, re-touch my concealer, wear my best smile. Steve's at the door, it's time to go out for drinks. "Did you eat something?"

"Sure" I smile, and I'm not even lying

11 May 2012

Their legs are amazing

All of a sudden, it's summertime. We go to Cavalli's place for a party, and the girls are wearing short dresses and high heel, and their legs are amazing. In my black pants and top, I feel out of place. I feel disgusting. In 20 days I'm leaving for Greece, so I go downtown to buy a new bikini matching the saree I bought last year in Nepal, in a peculiar shade of fuchsia. Then I try on some pants at Nadine, and I can't even button them. I start sniffing in the changing room, then proceed telling myself "you're not crying, it's only allergies". I'm hitting the gym 4 times a week, but apparently it's useless. The doctor puts me on the balance and the weight never goes down. She says I'm gaining so much muscle, and losing a lot of fat, and I put on 2.5kg of water weight over the last 15 days. I stare blankly as she sights and gives me some magic powder that's supposed to make the water magically disappear. "Are you eating? Seriously I mean" "Doctor, I'm over 130lbs. Do you think I'd be such a mess if I had stopped eating?" Truthfully, over the last three months, I've only felt at ease when on cocaine. (And even then, I'm still conscious of how their legs are amazing)

02 May 2012

This girl
is my new junior at work. Photoshop? no, she's even better looking and skinnier in real life. I never felt so ugly before. I don't think I'll ever touch carbs again. For the rest of my life.