23 March 2011

POWERFUL

Due to work issues, I have been water fasting over the last 30 hours... and I finally feel like I can do it, I can go back to the place I was, and Ana will come back to me, step by step. I feel powerful.

And man, this song is for all of us...

On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.
But you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.

I love you all

PS I am fasting for at least further 15 hours, let's hope that the scale will show it!

Wolverine is going to kill me

Let's start from the good things: I trained hard both yesterday and this morning.
That's all.
The bad things now.
Steve's flying to see me tonight, and we both took the next two days off from work, to have some quality time, arrange the painters that need to re-paint my flat, a job interview (him, not me unluckily), get out of the city for two days and so on.
Wolverine, my boss, just canceled my days off, so I'll have to stay and work. Needless to say, Steve's furious.
The only good thing is, I'm working 14 hours a day and skipping meal after meal. I just had a cup of strawberry for lunch today (air for breakfast).
Let's hope this will start to show at some point, so far I'm still a fat whale at 134,9lbs (61,2kg).
Fuck my life....

21 March 2011

I'll face myself

I was too ashamed to post.
I still am ashamed, but I need to face my shit.
Last week weight: 136.2lbs. 61.3kg. Fuckin' disgusting

Spring is finally breaking, and soon it's going to be bikini time.

So let mercy come,
and wash away
what I've done!
I'll face myself
to cross out
what I've become
erase myself
and let go
of what I've done!!

Oh, I'll post more often. And I'll drop the damn weight. But right now, something worries me even more: what happened to Marcus ? I can't find his blog anymore, it's like he's fell off the face of the earth! And of course I'm worried, probably he's just happy and dropped blogging, or blogger messed up, but I can't stop worrying so if you have news, please let me know!