22 May 2017

bikini time



truly yours, shamefully showing her belly pouch in Mykonos last weekend
(I'm the one on the left, and yes, the lipstick looks like I just kissed a Smurf)


13 May 2017

Self distruction thoughts

Walking towards the office in a gloomy weather, my thoughts are running freely, and it almost startle myself to realize the following have crossed my mind in the past few minutes:
- I should get myself some weed to smoke in the evening
- Do I have enough Ibuprofen for today in my bag? oh yes, I have 2 600mg packets, so I'm safe
- I'm totally fasting today
- Wouldn't it be awesome to have just a tiny bit of cocaine?
- Then again, Contramal [morphine based pain killer] would help me improving the quality of my sleep
- I would die to get thin. Look at that reflection on the window.. I look like a pig

For the sake of clarity, I may be using more Ibuprofen than what's ideal, but besides, the above are just thoughts. I'm working 14 to 15 hours a day, but I'll get a grip. Eventually.

24 April 2017

Wolves

Animals are not that different from us.
It took me so many years to realize something so obvious.
We are running together and he is so my Alpha male, I can totally be his she wolf.
We've been running for 20km side by side and there are 4 more to go. I hurt. My hip hurts inside, my inner tights suffer from chafing and all I feel is the joy of running under the spring sun with my male
And for the first time I understand animals hurt like us when running but also they enjoy the sensations. And we can do the same

13 April 2017

Back to the future

So
I'm back to working in financial consulting.
More precisely, the firm I joined is the same one where I worked between 2004 and 2005, right after university.

Everyone is so young and skinny... It's both depressing and motivating you know?

Some of the young girls look up at me, professionally speaking. I look up at them, they have skinny legs to die for.

And the guys.... Well let's keep that for the next post. Which will come soon because I'm back to the old me.
Xoxoxox

31 March 2017

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focused on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
(....)
What have I become? My sweetest friend
Everyone I know, goes away in the end
And you could have it all, my empire of dirt
I will let you down, I will make you hurt.


Today my mind is on Johnny Cash.
Meanwhile I changed job, gained weight, but I will further develop next week

Stay strong lovelies