Leave the light on for me

As soon as our friend leaves the table in the winery to go to the restroom, he asks me:
"Do you remember when we went heli-skiing and we had to jump out of the helicopter as it would not land in the place we had chosen for skiing?"
How the fuck do you think I could possibly forget something like that asshole? Of all the stupid things I've done in my life to impress stupid males, this is the one that impressed myself most of all - I think. What I answer is: "Yes, and I still don't get why didn't you make love to me, before or after that"

That kinda leaves him a bit baffled. Serves him right - I do remember the crazy fall from the helicopter, which I thought must have been at least three meters from the ground (later he said 5, but that was probably to impress his friends) and landing in all the snow powder with the blades hitting the air so loudly over my head.

But it only takes him a few second to regain his coolness and smiling like a cat saying "Why, I never thought you would have said yes"
"Shut up stupid - you know perfectly well I asked you to come home with me years before that, when we were in France and I was still hot"
"Damn you were - you still are, but in the Rome office we all still remember how you managed to look hot and innocent at the same time. And after all this years, you still keep wearing these white trousers - we've all had wet dreams about those at some point"

Fuck-you - you still don't want to say it - after all these years?  That you were in love with a chubby and that you like playing and flirting but that's it. Because that is the truth - you did marry her and had kids after all.

But the nice part is, while he still is hot, I'm finding that I truly no longer care, and that I'm having fun but I wouldn't even consider anything with him - I'm actually checking what time it is, because I don't want to come home too late in case Husband gets worried.

Our friend is back, and while later she will tell me that Vi and I "make sparks" and then he was "so smitten with me", I soon leave in the pouring rain (let's all have a silent minute in honor of my formerly white pants please), and run home, where Husband is asleep but has left the light on for me.
And I can't help how much I love Hubby 

Action

Alejandro came over last night, and from the moment he stared at my body, I knew I was lost.

“Lucy. You are so beautiful. Your face, your hair... your body. I could stare at your body for hours, it’s just… flawless”

Alejandro, who could totally belong to a male thinspo, was just as usual: perfect tan, perfect waxed legs, his three tattoos in their places, his abs discreetly peeking, his pecs showing just as I like, not too much, not too little. His soft skin, his hands on my face.

“I missed you so much Alejandro”

“Me too Lucy. You have no clue”

Fast forward – two hours later

“I want you so bad. It’s been years, Lucy. You know that with no one else it is like with you”

“What about tomorrow? What if next week I want you again?”

“I’ll be there each time you’ll want me, you know that. I made a promise to you, years ago, and I’ll keep it forever”

“I know you will. But it wouldn’t be fair”

“I’d never cheat. But you… You came first. You came before my girlfriend. Mostly, the alchemy we share… I will never give you up. I tried, and I have never managed to. I’m going to kiss you now, and I’m going to do all I want to do. Just tell me to stop if that’s what you want, and I’ll let go”

...

We both cried out, loud. We both cried for more, until there was no more. It was as good as in my souvenirs, maybe even better.

(I was extremely thankful both my neighbors are on vacation)

When you call my name, it’s like a little prayer,

I’m down on my knees, I wanna take you there

In the midnight hour I can feel your power

Just like a prayer, you know I’ll take you there

I hear your voice, it’s like an angel sighing,

I HAVE NO CHOICE, I HEAR YOUR VOICE

Feels like flying

I close my eyes, Oh God: I think I’m falling!

Last, but not least, stats:

120.8lbs

BMI: 19.19

OH Yes, fuck YESSSS!!!

Let’s get straight to the point.
This morning 124.4 lbs
Please notice that this brings my BMI BELOW fucking 20 (I can’t help hating myself when my BMI starts with a two).

I shit you not people. It’s starting to WORK!

AND, I even had a massive poo AFTER weighting myself! Then I hit the gym of course, and I’ll stick to dieting today.

The issue: tonight the Boyfriend is coming over, and he’s staying until Sunday night (plus, two friend will be coming over from France, from tomorrow till Sunday night as well).
Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally happy I get to spend a couple of days with my love, BUT of course it’ll be a hell lot harder to avoid food.
In first place, being Italian means I cook. I don’t mean occasionally: I mean that when I’m not alone, I cook for each meal. Yes, breakfast lunch and dinner.
Now I bought some meat to do spezzatino, because I’m vegetarian (have been for the last 5 years), so that’s not much of a temptation, but I cannot possibly feed 3 people on just meat for 4 days…
So wish me luck on that one ladies!

Also I went at Steve’s place last night. I was good: I only had herbal tea (unsweetened), no alcohol, and only smoked half a cigarette (maybe less).

I know I’m still far from my goals, and I’m still not looking like I want to look, but I’m starting to believe I can actually do it. I can be thin again. When I’ll reach 120lbs, I’ll allow myself the red bracelet again.

Stay strong beauties, summer is coming and we all want to look fucking awesome in that swimsuit!

And once I’ll look like that, look at the guy I’ll probably spend part of my vacation with…