New year, old goals

 Happy new year bloggers!

My weight is at its highest, and a good friend just invited me to her (very fancy) wedding in Sicily in June.

I need to go back to old methods, also bcs I need to lose weight for medical reasons:

- I'm getting a new Nexplanon implant as dealing with periods has become unmanageable

- my back hurts

- my knees are better than last year but they'd still benefit from less weight to carry.

The good news is our friends who come over for excessive dinners every Sunday are having a baby tomorrow so I expect they won't be so keen about going out for a few weeks at least.

140 days to lose at least 10kg (22lbs). I need to to this, and needless to say, 15kg would be better but I don't think I can do it. 

Today menu is:

breakfast (half cup of cereals with skimmed milk, same as usual)

raw salmon and salad for lunch

baked broccoli, baked pumpkin and 1 kiwi for dinner

On different news, while Loki the cat is potty trained by now, this morning he was in a bad mood and he tried to piss on the bathroom mat. I'm going home after lunch and work from home, hopefully that will raise his spirits.

If you want to know more about Loki, you can follow him on Instagram @loki.the_siberian_cat

Faithless

The fact that waking up at 61.3kgs (135pounds) and finding it's the lowest weight I've been over the past two years or so is freaking depressing.

The fact that I've dropped 6.4kgs from the beginning of December is a bit more cheering

The fact that Hubby has dropped 4 kilos without trying since Monday is fucking depressing. Poor Hubby had nose surgery on Monday and he's bee living on ice cream since. Had I done that, I would have gained 4 kilos instead of dropping LOL

However I'm overall on a good path. I've set up a routine that is, overall, relatively easy to follow.
I have protein shake for beakfast
skip lunch
eat chicken and veggis for dinner, or tuna and veggies. Sometimes I throw in some tzatziki.
I avoid wine unless on Fridays
I binge on saturday night and sunday lunch and than go back to routine

I still look and am fat. I hope to reach 59kg before vacation (3 weeks from now). Since I'll spend one week working from my parents' place all alone, maybe I'll manage (I have to stay there when they are on vacation, to be easily within reach of my grand mother and take care of her in mornings - she's 97 and lives on her own, but when parents are away it's up to me to shower her and shop for her).

I know how idiotic this sounds, but if I manage to drop 2kg in the next three weeks, this may kind of restore a little bit of faith in myself. Over the past 6 months, I haven't believed for a single second I can achieve anything in life anymore.


Lastly, I changed hair color, having it faded from bronde on the crown to caramel blond, with blond highlights in front. Still unsure about it, but IF I drop the desired weight I might post pics from my vacation

Don't forget your vitamins, your water and your km to run. And say goodbye to Grandfather

My Grandfather finally passed away yesterday.
There's nothing there to be said, besides that at least he went in peace.

I've been good with my training program. I'm running 21km per week (gonna increase that progressively, but I don't think I'll get above 25km). Basically I run 5 to 7km twice weektime early in the morning and 10km on Sunday afternoons. On top, I do pull-ups, abs and lounges after running, and I do the 30days shred by Jillina Michales twice during the week. (Basically it's 3 circuits, each with 3min strength, 2min cardio and 1min abs, but it is intense).

S is gonna be in Rome for the next two weeks; I expect a significant upside for my restricting, although I will join him next weekend and man, Roman food is the most exquisite in the world, so that may be dangerous.

On Saturday I went shopping and refused to purchase trousers - until I lose a lot of weight, that is.

I started 2014 at 140.4lbs (63.7kg, BMI22.3) . SHAME ON ME

I'm currently at 135.6lbs (61.5kg, BMI 21.5).

On April 6 I'm running a 10km run with my boss. My goal is 55 minutes. My weight goal is to be 57kg by then, and 55kg bu May15 (when I'll go to Crete on vacation).

This is achievable. It is. So yes, water, vitamins and training.

Time

It's awfully slow, but it's progress.

I'm at 134.9 (61.2kg). Disgusting I know, but still a tiny bit less disgusting than 138.

Work is awful again, I'm working with a two faced bitch for over 14 hours a day.

Luckily I'm leaving tonight for London - can't wait to be in Steve's arms.

In 32 days I'll be leaving for Nepal - goal weight for that date: 128lbs (still fat, but it's just a first goal).

Time flies, I can't believe summer's over, I can't believe September only has 4 weekend, I would need at least 7 weekends to do all I have to do. Still, weekends = weight gain, so that's a good thing there aren't too many I guess

Will update more next week - right now I'm really out of time

Full advantage

One week later, and I cannot believe how I could have doubts.

Steve is… I don’t even know how to explain. How different things are, and how unchanged at the same time.

The this is, Steve knows me well. He may seem to act like he doesn’t care certain things, but now I know he notices. He messages me through the day to make sure I’m doing okay (to let me know he’s thinking of me, basically. Which is exactly what I need). He helps me if I have difficulties at work. When we’re together (and not at work) he hugs me all the time, he never lets me go. And, while I’ve never been much of a PDA person, with him, I really feel like I belong into his arms.

I’m not doing great: I’m experiencing one of the worst phases of insomnia ever. Last Saturday I went sailing with Bro and others, and the wind was just too much and some of the ropes broke and we had some problems with the boat, so I hit my chest badly and it still hurts, so of course that doesn’t help sleeping.

Steve wakes up in the morning by my side and he’ll just know if I’ve slept at all. I was awfully tired last night, we got back to his place around 11 and went straight to bed. Two hours later he woke up and noticed I wasn’t sleeping, and started caressing/lightly massaging my back until I fell asleep, and I slept for 6 SOLID HOURS!!

Of course, between the insomnia, all the going out every night and the pain, I haven’t been really able to restrict and go the gym, so I’m still stuck at 119.7lbs. I’ll fast next week though, with Marcus, also because I’m back on the pill and this tends to make me gain weight (ouch).

I want this season to last forever. Work’s slow, and I’m kind of going out every night, taking full advantage of the amazing night life this city offers. I want to wear sundresses forever, I want to sail, drink, party… I wanna lay naked in Steve’s arms at night… (and no, we did not really have sex yet… but I promise you we will before we leave for vacation LOL).

Also, Steve’s almost 85lbs heavier than I am. He’s also something like 6 feet 5 inches tall (195cm), which means in my eyes he’s huge (I mean, considering we live in Italy, that’s really tall). I love it, also because… It kind of makes me feel tiny…

But I shall not forget my goals. I promise I will be 115 lbs by the end of August, and I really hope to do even better (110 would be just perfect!)

I love you a lot, I swear, I live for your comments!!