Although I had at least 200kcals of French fries last night (due to celebrations with an old friend), I am still losing, and I woke up this morning at 134lbs (60.8). I’m dropping 250gr on average on good days (c.0.6lbs).
Depending on my mood, it feels somewhere between barely okay and definitely not enough.
But could I possibly drop faster? Considering I’m working every day well over 12 hours, up to 15? I mean, I even went to the gym 4 times so far this week.
Every time I step in front of a mirror, I expect to see the skinny girl I used to be. Instead I get a blobby mess staring back at me. I proved to be capable to go down to 118lbs (54kg) last year, but that’s still 18.9BMI. Still blobby.
What I want is what I used to be as a teenager: 104lbs. 47kg. 16.5 BMI.
The only time in my adult life I got back to that weight, I screwed up work, and that I can’t do. Because even if no money is no food, I need a place to live, I need to pay the gym fee, I need nourishment for my soul.
Somehow, after all this time, I’m still waiting for a miracle to come.