and I'm the only one to blame

it is never enough
whatever I do, it is never enough

I've dropped 2kg of fat over 7 days, yet I somehow managed to gain 1kg of water. screw me

I'm training hard, and most of the time I'm exhausted. I'm also not sleeping well, so on weekends, I try to get some rest through a nap or such. Dad just told me on the phone "I don't want to see you on the couch the whole weekend" (instead of saying "lovely that you're coming to visit").

And work, that's the worst.


when it's good then it's good it's so good
till it goes bad

I'm still trying to find the me I once had

Llorando (Crying)

Steve got his job offer yesterday. He has to move to London by October 4^th. Which, in case it wasn’t clear, is less than one month away.

I try to keep a smile plastered on my face, and I congratulated him and everything.

Inside, I’m devastated. Broken hearted.

I’m not even 100% sure he’s willing to try the long distance thing.

Fuck it, I’m no longer 18. I want a full time boyfriend, someone who lives with me, someone who wakes up with me in the morning on working, rainy days, not someone just for vacation and occasional weekends. If I can’t have a live-in boyfriend, I’d rather be single and take full advantage of it. The problem is, I’m hopelessly in love with Steve.

Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I’m only falling apart: nothing I can do, a total eclipse of the heart.

The upside? Once Steve will be gone, I’ll simply stop eating. Just like I lost weight when I was still with the ex but we were living in different countries.

Maybe, if I try hard enough, I’ll disappear before I suffer too much.

Dime tu que puedo acer,

no me quiete ya

y siempre estare

llorando por tu amor