Rejection

I know, I said I would have talked about the exes popping out, but my mind is on something else today
Alejandro did not come to pay the visit he had promised last week.
It was fine, because Thursday night I came home from work at 10PM, and left again at 6AM on Friday, so I was exhausted. He called on Thursday afternoon, and said he was busy with work and tired, and I said fine, then he promised he would swing by on Monday or Tuesday. It’s been a while since we last met, so I was looking forward to it. He sent me a couple text later Thursday evening, apologizing again and reiterating his promise to come by early this week.

He did not come or call, and I really feel rejected.
I know it’s silly, but that’s the way I feel. It’s just because he feels so compelled to make promises, and then he doesn’t keep them. Last night I could have called and told him to bring his lousy ass to my place, and he would have done it. But I don’t wanna be clingy. It’s not just with Alejandro: I’m like that with most of my friends. I want them to seek me. And nobody did it over the last two or three days. This makes Alejandro’s silence way worse.

So Matilda wondered about our relationship. The truth is, I cannot trust Alejandro as a boyfriend, I never could, and I could not rely on him. I mean, let’s face it, over the last 6 years he cheated on every single girlfriend he had. And I know it for sure, since he’s cheated on them with me. I’m no saint lovelies. So I think Alejandro would make a lousy version of what I call a boyfriend. And today he also happens to be a lousy friend, but at least he’s RELIABLE as a friend: should I need anything, he’d come over for sure.

Maybe he’s just avoiding me because he knows I’m fat right now. But I will get better. I will.

A slightly positive note: this morning I was 126.1 lbs. It’s not good enough, but at least it’s SOMETHING, a little step in the right direction I guess. I have only eaten soup (not much), spinaches, salad (no sauce) and green apples over the last two days. I’ll try to stick to this regimen.
Take care lovely readers.