I’m a fat cow.
But.
I can’t stand disappointing people over the upcoming weekend.
Boyfriend is driving to my Parents’ place, and I haven’t seen him in 6 weeks or so.
Dad is fetching me from the city tonight – driving the whole way to my job and back, over 2 hours – because he doesn’t want me to face the train strike.
Mom is baking pesto lasagna tomorrow, and I’ll deep-fry pumpkin flowers.
I’ll smile, I’ll do my best to be nice to everyone, because they don’t deserve all my bullshit.
So the plan is this. Tomorrow morning I have to wake early (I have an appointment at 8ish and some errands to run) and I’ll let Boyfriend sleep in late. While he’s sleeping, I’ll go out with the canoe, because I never exercise my arms-shoulder as much as I should.
Then we’ll swing by at my neighbor’s for a glass of white wine, maybe take a quick swim in the lake, then lunch. Wine + lasagna + fried flowers + vegs and fruits. No way to stay below 800kcals.
Afternoon will most likely be dedicated to sun-tanning.
On Sunday I’ll go running with Boyfriend and maybe Dad. We actually run up and downhill, since we’re surrounded by the Alps, so it’s a good exercise (great for my butt!). At least one meal will be a meat BBQ at Bro’s, so I’m safe at least once (I’m vegetarian, and Bro understands me).
And once Sunday dinner is over, I swear I will fast through the whole week. I will wear my red bracelet, and hopefully it will help me through the fast.
I want to be a skinny bitch.
Alejandro is visiting on Monday and I’m already worried about how my butt will look.
I want to be skinny when Steve will be back, next Thursday. I want him to wonder whether I have eaten at all during his absence (which is nuts, because in all honesty, Steve likes fatties best).
I want to go dancing at I want guys to look at me the way they used to when I was in my teens, and until 3 years ago. I wanna look fucking fragile, breakable.
I want a BMI below 18. I will reach it.
4 comments:
Keep that resolve with you, and i know you will reach your goal of fragileness and breakableness and that low BMI. Stay strong!
It's a big sacrifice (God, I know so well) but I'm sure you'll get there :)!
Hope you're doing alright
ahr har. oh i need to catch up on your blog.
but no i think its unlikely :p
i think some time when we are drunk.. we'll see ha. we are going on a cruise with 2 other friends at the end of the year. yay 10 nights on a boat.
Hey. I hope your plans for the weekend worked out :) You're gonna be skinny and you will reach a BMI below 18. You are strong and you can do this, I believe in you! :)
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