Last week I started realizing a couple of things. In first place, when (ex) Boyfriend would call, I was mostly annoyed. I didn’t miss him. I started talking to Bro about my issues, and suddenly it all came out: I wasn’t in love anymore; I didn’t want to share my life with him anymore. I felt awful, but I knew I had to do something.
So I talked to Bro, and I decided to be honest, because how could I rely on his advice if I kept hiding things?
What he said in first place touched my heart. “Well, I guess I haven’t been there for you as I should have, since you never realized anything was going on with this Steve. I’m sorry Sis, I’ll make it up to you”
“Don’t worry Bro. You are listening to me now, and that’s all I could ask for”
Bro opened up my mind, mostly by telling me that, if after a 4 years relationship, I still had all those doubts, it probably meant the ex and I weren’t meant to be together. He also said I needed to talk to Steve to get things clear in my mind. I tend to follow Bro’s advice. Mainly because Bro, well, he’s different. He may not have the greatest social skills ever, but he’s way above normal people as far as the brain department is concerned. His IQ was roughly estimated when he was a teenager around 150. He’s the most intelligent person I ever met, and has unique analysis skills.
So on Wednesday night I was at Steve’s place, but we weren’t alone. His roommate walked out for a second and I stared at Steve “We need to talk”
“We do indeed, but not tonight”
“We are talking tonight Steve, and that’s it”
It wasn’t going well. His roommate spent half of the evening bragging about the impossibility of dating co-workers, we drank too much and then Steve said he wanted to get some sleep. I got up to leave and he walked me out, but I had had too many beers and no food.
“Will you be all right?”
“Honestly I don’t think I can handle getting home on my bike or walking on these heels”
“Wanna sleep here? Up to you”
I took a deep breath
“Steve, what if I did it? What if I dump him?”
“I dunno”
“I dunno is not enough of an answer. I need to make decisions, and I need to make them now”
“Let’s get away together for a weekend”
I was LIVID. “No way! For fuck’s sake Steve! It’s not like you’re going to test me like that! We spent enough time together and you know me enough to be able to decide!”
He hugged me and said “Don’t be angry, I can’t make promises” I felt like crying.
“I don’t want promises, I’m not asking you any engagement of any kind. But I need to know if you’re into this or not”
“Of course I am, it’s just so sudden. But I do want to give us a try”
I kissed him “That’s all I needed to hear”
5 comments:
It's a good thing you are starting to sort your feelings and emotions. You now know it was the right decision to end it with your ex. And that steve wants to give you a try is a good thing, huh? Hope things work out for you!
And your brother seems to be a really great person!
Im so glad you're getting things sorted with the men. And good for you for not backing down till steve gave you an answer! :)
Hope it works out. So long as you both try though
I've been in this rut for the last three years. but I've finally made an appointment to get my drivers permit. As soon as I can drive I'll have more things to do, hopefully :)
*hugs*
Yeah, I'm always confused when people talk in lbs, I always have to convert it into kgs, but what can you do? haha.
I hope you'll get to 52 or even 50 by the end of August. And you will, I'm sure.
You pick up German again? Hey that's great :D You already tried it in the past?
And I totally will fast with you starting monday :)
xoxo
I'm glad your getting your thoughts out and trying to deal with the issues you are facing hun.
ROMANCE! Aahh...
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