27 December 2021

a difficult post

 My grandmother is dying. Well, we all are, technically speaking, but she has stopped eating a few days ago, and she's sleeping all the time now. Christmas was a mistake - her sister and her daughter (my mom) really wanted to be with her, so we picked her up for the small family lunch we had organized (grannie, her sister Aunt P, my parents, myself and Huband - Bro was in Germany at his inlaws), The whole Group hasv got 3 anticovid shots, and Husband and I had tested negative (just in case).

On the 24th Mom and I were supposed to do the usual: prepare fresh pasta dough, make it in sheets, cook it and prepare lasagna. Mom was late so I got started - by the time she came in, she was exhausted - she had been at Granni's to shower her, and right after being showered and dressed, Grannie puked all over herself and the couch, and as soon as she was cleaned and changed again, she needed to pee but didn't make it in time. I tried to lighten up the atmosphere and I think I did succeed to some extent.

On Christmas morning, when we picked Granny from her place, she did not recognize me (nor did she afterwards) - until last week, she knew me, and I it as a bad sign.

She did not eat of course, and spent the grand 90 minutes she was at my parents sleeping on the couch and puking from time to time - she didn't even say a word to Aunt P or my mom, and frankly speaking that's the hardest part.

When she said she wanted to go home, my dad and I walked her to the car (some 30 meters from the living room, no steps), but at some point she was too tired and let herself slip. Luckily we were quite ready and caught her (at the expense of my knee... more later). We made it to the car, and asked Husband to come with us - luckily he's a big guy, tall and strong, because the only thing we could think of, to bring her up to her place (she has stairs) was to bring down a chair, move her from the car to the chair and carry the chair and herself upstairs, which was quite a nightmare.

The worst part is that my mom and Aunt P are really suffering through this. It does not make any sense for me to stay at Granny as she does not want me there - since she no longer knows who I am, it stresses her to have strangers around. And I don't really know what to do to help my mom, besides talking to her. Well, she was very grateful with the new Ipad we got her for Xmas, and I did download her movies and a couple of books on Audible to help her pass time when she's at Granny's place (Granny's sleeping all the time, so..) but that's not much really to do but to wait for the end.

I also felt for Husband, who lost his mom over last year Boxing Day, and I was hoping to offer him a more cheerful break this year, but it is what it is.


On a different note, I went to see the doctor today, and his comment was that my knee's quite fucked up and no miracles can be expected. He said the damage goes well beyond the meniscus, and it looks like the rotula's partly compromised. In any case he game me a shot of steroids and I'll be back for more infiltrations of hyaluronic acid. Worst part is he ordered I stop for a while any kind of training including the elliptical machine, on which I've been spending 5 hours a week. Shit.


So, apologies for the depressing post. Really looking forward to Maldives in 10 days, provided we manage to avoid Covid (75% of my coworkers either have it or are quarantined for close contacts.... no shit)

2 comments:

Bathwater said...

I am sorry to hear about your grandmother. I know how stressful it can be during these times. Make sure to take care of yourself too.

forget said...

I'm dealing with a similar grandmother. She is 90 and refuses to eat, barely remembers who we are or the words we say. I figure we just give her whatever comforts her mind for now as who knows how many days she has left.

Those of us with 100000s of days left should also seek comfort. After all even that is a small number.

also as someone who works with COVID 5 days a week now and still hasn't gotten sick its possible to just get lucky enough not to get it. So I wish you similar luck to what I have experienced so far.