I tasted the answer and my body was weak

Let’s start again.

Summer is over, I’m back to work, another year is starting. I got my promotion (yay).

Summer is still here, with 36° (97F) outside, no AC at my place, and worst of all, me at 138lbs (62.6kg), BMI 21.9 (disgusting).

Now it’s time for a fresh start. I don’t have any promotion in sight this year, and I won’t let work ruin my body anymore. I need to train pronto, since on October 4 I’m leaving for Nepal, where I’ll spend 2 weeks trekking around the Annapurna with dad.

Vacation was dedicated to family and mountaineering (1^st week, including climbing Monte Rosa as I mentioned, up to 4.554mt or 14.941ft), and then to quality time with S, love of my life (2^nd week, which included some hiking, a lot of sunbathing and even more love making).

All in all, I loved my vacation. I am fat, but I will get better very soon. I know I can do it, as I did it in the past. I have faith in me, and I have faith in you all, lovelies. I am still catching up with your blogs, so if I haven’t commented on your blog yet, I will do it soon.

I love you all and I really hope you’re having a good time. I’m sending you strength and encouragement.

On vacation - quick update

Lovelies,

I'm not reading nor writing, as I'm on vacation and I spend 12 hours every day on my notebook when I'm at work, so I try to avoid it completely when on vacation.

Good news: I just came back from hiking Monte Rosa (second highest mountain in Europe) and lost c. 2kg in 2 days (plus water weight, but that will come back sooooon)

Bad news: my family bought an ice cream machine. We'll test it today.

Great news: S is joining me tonight and will spend with me the next ten days.

Love you all, I'll be back on the week of August 22nd

xoxo

I would die for you

Okay, let's face it: I've been failing for months.

Plans? Bullshit.

I just have to stop eating.

Just like I did last year. I won't see S for two weeks, and I must take full advantage of it by NOT EATING.

I'll be at the Parents' place for the weekend, I'll try to skip some of the meals by going out jogging.

I love you all

Je vais bien, ne t'en fais pas

(I'm fine, don't worry)

I never saw the movie, but I read the book when I was still living in France, and I loved it.

I love the song anyway... it's for me and for each one of you. I'm sorry I'm not posting much, I love you.

PS. Things are not very good right now, but I'm fine. I'll be fine. Don't worry. I just need an angel to come and get me. Yeah, it's one of these days, when you think "I might die tonight, just close my eyes in my bed and never wake up". But I will wake up, I promise.

Lucy, take another walk out of your fake world

please put all the food out of your hand

you'll see that you can breathe without no back up

so much stuff you got to understand

for every step in any walk

any town of any thought

I'll be your guide

for every fast or any binge

any place you've never been

I’ll be your guide

Lucy, you know there's still a place for people like us

the same blood runs in every hand

you see it's not the wings that makes the angel

just have to move the bats out of your head

for every step in any walk

any town of any thought

I’ll be your guide

for every street of any scene

any place you've never been

I’ll be your guide

Lucy, easy as a kiss we'll find an answer

put all your fears back in the shade

don't become a ghost without no colour

cause you're the best paint life ever made

On Scarsdale

Previously of Waiting for the Miracle

It seems that my family is determined to spend most of their spare time telling me how fat I've become. This is even more weird given the fact they keep stuffing my face with food whenever I'm at the Parents' place. The Panther (aka Mom, who, FYI, is overweight) keeps bugging me, then comes up with healthy plans such as:

- having dinner at 11.30PM on Saturday

- Sunday lunch: fried pumpkin flowers (about 10 each), homemade mayo (about a lot too much each).

The only exception to this is Bro, who as always is skinny as a bitch, but who thinks a BMI between 21 and 22 is nobody's business but mine. I love Bro: he understands and never ever criticizes when I'm fasting, and he doesn't bug me when I'm fat.

Now

As much as it may hurt my feelings, the parents are right. I look horrible.

Since nothing else seems to work, I have decided to (temporarily) give up my principles. I've been vegetarian over the last 6 years, but I'm going on Scarsdale diet.

Started yesterday, am loosing already, but let's also keep in mind yesterday I've hit the gym twice (yeah, 2 times), burning over 1000kcals only on cardio.

In the meanwhile, I won't be at the Parents' place for two weeks, so I really hope to drop enough to shut them up by the time I'll go there. So, scarsdale.

Start weight: 138lbs / 62.6kg (BMI: 21.9) (shame on me)

Day 2: 136.5lbs /61.9kg (BMI: 21.7) (still disgusting)

14 days Goal: 120lbs / 54.5kg (BMI: 19.1) (a little bit better, still far from my ideal weight of 110lbs or 50kg)

(oh, and let's be honest, 99lbs / 45kg would be even better)

I really hope this Scarsdale thing works.

Love you lots