A tale we've all been through

(freely inspired from the French song Il avait les mots), a tale of meeting Ana and Mia

She was way older than me and I silly fell into her arms. Through her I found out things I never knew before: she seemed sincere and I fell for that.
What kept bothering me was she would rarely stay for long, but as soon as she spoke, I'd shut up.

She knew the words and made me addict
I would already saw myself skinny
She knew the words and made me addict
I did not know that
I did not know her

I no longer had a life, I only thought about her, even though it was obvious she often lied. She would get lost halfway though her praising of me, would say she loved me, and I would deal with it: I'd forgive her. She would leave, she would talk to others but what was she hiding? I would soon find out

She knew the words and made me addict
I would already saw myself skinny
She knew the words and made me addict
I did not know that
I did not know her

I followed her and saw a horrible place, and suddenly I realized she had family (MIA). All the while, I was wrong, I WAS WRONG!
MIA found me, and immediately told me I was not the first idiot she used to amuse herself, all the while I was wrong, I WAS WRONG!

She knew the words and made me addict
I would already saw myself skinny
She knew the words and made me addict
I did not know that
I did not know her

Devious thoughts

I fell because I'm an idiot.
Or, more likely, I fell because my ass is too heavy and fat and big.

Rewind
Last Saturday I went to see a doctor in the morning, because lately my back has been bothering me. The doc said my right leg is longer than my left one (which I knew, I smashed my right tibia when I was a kid), and both my hips and shoulders are unbalanced. In addition, I am super tense in the higher part of back and in the neck and when he asked me if I can touch my toes while keeping my legs straight I almost laughed into his face.
So he ordered 1 sessions of physio + tecar therapy and 10 sessions of specific back exercises. Luckily  my insurance will pay for all of this. He said I can keep running, but advised against distances over half marathons.

So, after a long walk on Saturday afternoon with the Panther (my mom), when dad proposed to go for a short uphill run I enthusiastically joined. It was fun and fine.
Then on Sunday we went for a (previously planned) long run - Dad, Hubby and I. After about 2 minutes, we passed some acacia trees in full bloom and I focused on the flowers, thinking "I could fetch some of those on the way back", because where I live we sometimes eat acacia flower fritters (the essence of sweet + fat). Karma is a bitch. I should not think these kind of thoughts.
So, while distracted, I didn't spot a whole in the road and fell.
No serious damage taken. I got up after a couple minutes and we eventually went for a not-so-long (10km) slow run, but afterwards my right knee got very swollen (and my left hip is badly bruised).
Result: no running and lots of ice on my knee this week.

Do not misunderstand me: this is no bad luck or whatever. This is me being overweight and thinking sinful thoughts, thus heavily landing on my poor knee.

I skip meals, I gain wait, I can't sleep
what a fuck up
and what do I want a 6pack for?
I'm not even going to the sea this year
I'm turning 34 in a month, who the fuck am I kidding? crop tops are no longer an option.

I wish I could say the new job was a launch ramp for success.
It is not.
fuck.