21 April 2020

Total fuck up

Things are so depressing I don't even know where to start.

Work is shit. I fucking hate working this way, all the empathy I always enjoyed with my team is not around. We used to understand each other without a word, and now it seems that, without a half an hour phone call, they can't even tie their own shoelaces.
The truth is, most of them have been living alone in a one or two rooms apartment alone for the past 9 weeks, going out once a week for grocery shopping, and by now they can't seem to focus if it's a matter of life and death (and honestly, who can blame them?).
This leads to A LOT of inefficiencies. I work 12h per day + 5 or 6 hours in the weekend and I'm still lagging behind.

In all this, my boss just asked me to take a day of paid leave (while working of course) for the next 15 weeks. In the end, this equals a salary haircut (as per our labour law, you get paid your unused vacation when you leave the company - so 20 days of paid leave accrued means 1 month of salary).
Also, there is no understanding if I'm getting my bonus, which equals my fixed salary. We close books at the end of June, and before CoVid I had already met ALL my targets for this year (including sales). I was the only one (and was still kicked out of the process to be made equity partner).
My bonus equals my fixed salary. So potentially, further haircut up to 50% of my total annual income.

Meanwhile, I gained a ton of weight. When I'll go back I need to fast for about 10000393048123847 weeks

Oh, and the flat for which we signed a cheque the day before lockdown? Who knows, they disappeared.

By the way, clearly I'm not pregnant, given I'm on a fucking period (couldn't you tell?). I swear I did not remember that periods were so fucking disgusting.

Everything just seems to be a total fuck up

6 comments:

Aye Ell said...

I'm sorry things are so rough for you right now. That really sucks about not making equity partner. It's so miserable to be good at your job and not appreciated. Sorry about your weight gain too. That just makes everything feel worse.

Bathwater said...

I am so sorry this is affecting you so badly. It all sucks. That's for sure.

Bathwater said...

Sounds like they are going to start opening things up for Italy starting May 4. I hope it works out for you.

Bella said...

I’m sorry you’ve been hit so hard by all this. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer until things start getting back to being a bit more normal.

xx

Anonymous said...

Ugh i went off implanon ... no cycle yet but definately feel angry. X

Anonymous said...

I also gained weight, probably 5kg! ate a lot of pancakes....i can't work from home well I'm not good at it somehow. I can't pinpoint why. I think i have a mild adhd. A subtle depression has settled over me, too. A lazy, hopeless melancholy where i keep ruminating on all the ways I've fucked up....even if things are basically fine today,fortunate even. I need scheduling to be happy. How depressing. Anyway, i miss my hair appointments. That sounds dumb but i have an appoitment at 4pm every thursday. I get trims, highlight, updo, blowout, curls, whatever i feel like on the day. It is a waste of money as my bf always says but somehow it's one of those little things that makes me happy. Usually i buy an outfit and have a meal out with a friend after. Sigh.
PS Sounds like you have a really nice family to stay with. That would never be an option for us, not in a million years.