very bad, and it's not about me

Ugh last night they cut off Granpa's leg.
he's 90
no wonder I strongly believe in euthanasy
made Bro swore that if I get to that point being so old and everything, he'll put a pillow on my face.


maybe I should fast in honour of nonno

RUT

Work is so depressing I don't even know how do I still manage to go in every day.
It feels like in that early 90s TV series, Nikita.

Main issues right now:
I'm fat (and getting fatter)
My hip still hurts
I hate work
Work hates me
I'm lonely. Very lonely.
It rains
I feel stuck in a fucking rut.

And, as Ned Stark would have said back when he still had his head on his neck: Winter is coming.

On a side note, you can get HBO in a shithole like Montenegro (no offence, but really?), how come you can't get HBO in Italy?
we're fucking retarded

Bad ass me

Last Friday at work:

I was standing in the corridor next to the printer (where ALL my colleagues keep passing by), showing wedding pics to a friend and printing out thank-you cards. (yeah, work is slow in the morning - I keep working with lovely retarded Americans, who cannot understand for fuck sake that here it's six damned hours later, so IT IS NOT OKAY TO CALL ME WHEN IT'S %PM in Philly. Because here it's fucking 11PM so no, I'm no longer in the office. fuck)
Anyway I felt something in my pocket and absent-mindedly fished it out.
It was a bag of cocaine.
Luckily my friend (who certainly does not do it) didn't notice.
I thought hard and realized the last time I wore these skinny jeans was at my best friend leaving party, which was like

Yet, it is kind of fucked up pulling out coke from your jeans at work.

So, last night S and I ended up doing a small line each.

Then, I proceeded reading the last 200 pages from "The shining" (which I'm rereading before starting "Doctor Sleep")

I had nightmares all night long.

Morale: never do coke and read Stephen King on the same day.

catching up

Shots from honeymoon

Amazing time in Aruba. Didn't overindulge in bingeing, did find out windsurf is my passion. I rock at windsurf. I never would have guessed.
Kicked ass in a climbing competition against a US army sniper we made friends with (must admit I hid before competing that 10 years ago I did El Capitan). He was pissed.

New York.
all my friends who moved there lost like 1000kg or lbs whatever. FUCKING SKINNY.
hopefully my tan compensated. (yeah sure)
how do they do it? easy, they do so much cocaine they never eat.

Also, this is fucking gross.
NY coke is so full of laxies, it's like purging all the time. 3 days in NYC, I felt like I spent all the time pooping. UGH. This does NOT happen in Europe.


Right now:

I'm back on Jillian Michaels 6pack in 6 weeks program. Currently week 2
Husband is away for work, fridge is empty. perfect
Need to run home, the girl who makes me eyelashes extensions will be there soon. love you all lots

I'm sorry I disappeared
I'm really using my (little) spare time fro work to train.
Husband was sent away for work, hence he can't nag be about not eating enough (his opinion, not mine).
Will try to post tomorrow