09 January 2021

work fattie, work

Welcome, we love you, we hate you, we love you
We want you, we need you - we wish we were like you
They say you're a saint, you're a whore, you're a sinner
That he had you
He made you
He can't live without you.

Would you confess if we asked
That you nurture the urge
To declare that it's time
To settle down
With a man of your own
You want a baby
A family
A piece of security

Shut your mouth
Try not to panic
Just shut your mouth
If you can do it

(Garbage "Shut your mounth)


This feels very appropriate.

The partnership admission process started again and I'm in. They said I have a 50% chance. I have not told them I have just sold a €1million project.

Went to buy a pair of jeans today. I must start saying the truth at some point, so here it is: I started the year at my maximum weight ever: 160 pounds. Officially fat, for real, with a BMI of 25.4 and the lowest muscle mass ever. So far, I've only dropped 5 pounds.

I tried the jeans on and felt so ashamed.



2 comments:

Bathwater said...

I am sorry you are struggling with all this. You have a lot going on. I hope you can find a balance.

Anonymous said...

i am also at my fattest. I'm about 70kg, whatever that is in lbs. However, I bought a few kaftans and I've started joking about my weight and being 100% open about it. i REFUSE to feel less loveable and less of a human because of it. first time ever. in the past i would have taken extreme measures. but now i truly believe I need to improve my inside far more than my outside. most heartfelt wishes to you Lucy. i believe you will have everything you want xoxo