Sometimes

One of the crazy, unimaginable from the outside, impossible things to fully grasp of my work is what happens when you get along really well with a client.

These people have their job, which is stressful enough as it is as it usually consists in making a company work. Then they get through one of the most stressful, incredible (and sometimes successful and fulfilling) period in their professional life: they are involved in the sale of the company, or in purchasing another one. Half of the time (ok, 85% of the time) they are clueless about what they are doing, which is normal, as it's not their usual job.

This is where I come in. When a project works out real well (10% of the times to be honest), I'm the person they call every time they are in doubt, the person who is sitting or standing next to them in the negotiation, the person they call when they don't know what to do, when they need a solution, when they need to spill their stress over to someone.

And sometimes, this creates a very intimate relationship, because these thigs can last months, and you develop something when someone stands with you in your difficult times.

And then projects are over, and suddenly you no longer meet each other.

Sometimes they call me for a while, until they ask me on a date and I suggest breakfast instead and they disappear.

Sometimes they send a token at the end of the project (a book, a gadget) and a card at Christmas.

Sometimes, but only sometimes, they call me every other month or so for a quick chat. It gets awkward over time, because I'm less and less part of their lives. I never was really, I know little of their life outside work. Sometimes the project lasts for years, and it's harder to let go, even for me. Sometimes there is even a new project, and suddenly they realize that when this one will be over, we'll probably never see each other again. And you end up with bleary eyes on both sides, because you'll miss each other.

How can you leave me standing,

alone in a world that's so cold?

Maybe I'm just too demanding,

maybe I'm just like my father

too bold.

Maybe I'm just like my mother,

she's never satisfied.

(When doves cry, Prince)

Heir of nothing in particular

I'm the son and the heir

of nothing in particular.

You shut your mouth, how can you say

I go about things the wrong way! (...)

When you say it's gonna happen now, when exactly do you mean?

See, I've already waited too long, and all my hope is.. gone!

("How soon is now?" The smiths)

Whenever I speak to my boss, this pops into my mind.

Whenever they say " this year surely we'll make you equity partner"

Fuck off.

Meanwhile, my customers explicitly tell me to please not bring any "real" partner in meetings as they are useless, and they introduce me as the partner in the meeting.

Whenever I gently correct them, they say they don't care and that I am the partner in their mind and books and that's it.

If they knew what obstacles I face daily in order to have the best form them, they would probably be aghast.

Speaking of which, for today meeting I even blow dried my hair - judging from the dust on the hairdrier, last time I had done this was in February, before the lockdown. How girly of me...

old, but not that old

In my face is flashin' signs
Seek it out and ye shall find
The old, but I'm not that old
Young, but I'm not that bold
And I don't think the world is sold
On just doing what we're told

(Counting Stars, One Republic)

"You know, after the war I was still young but even then we've had a pandemic. There was this flu, they called it the Spanish flu, and people died like flies in autumn"

My heart shrinks a little - Granny is old, turning 97 soon, but clearly she did not live through WW1 or the Spanish Flu. There are weeks like this one, when every day she regresses a bit. Then, luckily, there are better days when she can almost seem her old self.

What I find more touching is that, when she's more aware of herself, she seems to go for a "fake it until you make it" approach. Don't get me wrong here - the trouble is, when she's very much aware she's conscious that she's quite deaf, but she doesn't want to show it, so if she doesn't know what one is talking about, she totally tries to look like she perfectly knows what's going on. I can't help it, I find that tenacity adorable.

I'm taking care of her in lieu of my mom who's on vacation this week. Yesterday Granny was having a good day, and we all went out for lunch at a local restaurant that has a cozy garden, together with my brother, his wife and their two kids, and I think she had a good time.

NEGATIVE

 ...and we've both tested negative :-)

just thought I'd share

(yes, we wear our masks - but that really protects the others more than ourselves)

have a good weekend!

Testing time

 Husband phone pings as we're already in bed and I immediately snap "please turn on night mode". I'm nasty, but on my defense he always manages to make noises with his devices, with plastic bottles of water or with ANYTHING at night while I struggle to sleep.

He reads the message, inhales and hands me his phone.

It's a colleague of his, whose asshole teenage son spent August snogging around with whatever had 2 legs in Sardinia and is now Covid positive.

Husband office gets shut down immediately, while waiting that the asshole teenager's dad gets tested and then waiting for the results.

And of course this happens when my parents are leaving for their annual week of vacation in 3 days, and I'm supposed to spend next week with my grandmother (who is turning 97 year old in November) since my mom is away.

Fuck.

So, after a complex research (average waiting time to get myself and Husband tested in Milan is now 8 days...) I managed to book a slot for tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, fingers crossed. We are both perfectly fine, as his colleague is, but many people are now positive and feeling well - I can't risk my grandma's health.