overwhelmed

I just..

I don't know

I can't keep up with this anymore



Been working over the last three weekends in addition to full week.

70 hours this week and it's only Saturday (Italian week goes from Monday to Sunday)



I never have time to eat - I end up fasting without even wanting it. This is very triggering. I'm not even hungry anymore. I just have a constant headache. Been having it for 10days now.



I drink fresh grapefruit juice at aperitivo and avoid eating.



I blurted out to a close friend (who is skinny and not pro-ana, Lord bless her): "I don't want to eat anymore. I just want to stop eating entirely."



Over the past week I usually had milk and cereals at breakfast, and sometimes a boiled egg for dinner. I also once ate 15gr of parmesan cheese, and one 0%fat, no sweeteners greek yoghurt.



(Sie kommen zu euch in der Nacht, Demonen (...) Schwartze Feen)



at least BMI is finally below 20.

I hate my German client. I hate him on so many levels I have a hard time restraining myself from insulting him in German all the time.

(insulting in German is so liberating)

I am despicable.

Mein Herz bMein Hertx brennt rennt!!!!







Now dear kids

listen carefully

I'm the voice from under the pillow

I brought something along

(...)

with this very heart I did it (...)

I'll sing 'till day breaks

A burning star from the sparkling firmament





I am so in love with Stefano, and yet I can't help my fear that thing may not work.He was away last week, now he's back. If he figures out I'm not eating, things may get out of control.



I don't wanna go back to eating

I just don't