In the rut

Allergie are killing me. I can't breathe, can't sleep, can't stay away, I just keep coughing.

131.2lbs
BMI: 20.8

disgusting.
Even the dietologist is unhappy with me.
I am most unhappy with myself.

Can I go to sleep and wake up in three months? please?

I need to stop eating.

Out of the blue

131.8lbs
BMI 20.9

Horrible.

Yet, the doctor complimented me so much because apparently I keep loosing fat and building muscles. It is true I'm training a lot, but honestly?
I want to see 120
(and then 110)
(and then 100)

But I guess it's better than nothing.

And then I went home this afternoon, to spend the weekend with the Parents.
And then, the sponsor (aka dad), out of the blue, said "You're really fit now, totally in good shape".

And that, my darlings, made my day.

(just to make Parents place safe, I bought an incredible amount of safe food (no carbs, no fat). Hopefully I can survive the weekend without ruining everything).

Spring has come lovelies. Time to get ready for that bikini you just saw while window shopping. You can do it!

Shopping!

On Saturday morning Steve had to see is brothers and dropped me off at a mall.
BIG MISTAKE: I practically burnt my american express.
I didn't really buy clothes, because I felt bloated, but I got a scarf



some lingerie from Tezenis (girls, check out the new extra padded bra collection! I've been somewhere between a cup B and C for my whole adult life, but that thing is AMAZING!!), books, socks for Steve, and some lipstick...

Saturday night was good, I got plenty of compliments on my black dress (since it's low cut, the new bra was amazing!) but of course I ate way too much over the weekend. This week should finally be a little less demanding at work, so I'm planning some detox diet and a lot of gym (I started on the good way by hitting the gyum this morning).

How are you lovelies? I hope you all have a good week!

Slightly better

Past the mirror, this is a no-return mission. Further away than the stars, the destination may be in a different galaxy, where people live loving themselves for what they are, and never hating what they'll never achieve.

And there, there may be suns and flowers, peace rituals and no differences. Same things and different shapes, so far away there are planets where things don't drive you mad.


PS. I managed to plant my Japanese cherry with Steve's help. A bonsai wouldn't do: it's already 1 meter tall!
Work is still very bad, and I'm attending a party on Saturday night. Little black dress I guess (although I'm way to fat to wear it). The chick who's throwing the party has lost 22kg last year. Granted, she's still fatter than I am, but she's doing amazingly good. I'll only eat and drink whatever she eats/drinks.

Madness

I bought a new tree for my balcony.
A Japanese cherry tree, the kind that makes so many flowers in spring.
The dietologist gave me a detox 3 days diet.

All I've asked was to leave work at 6.30, for once, because my tree was delivered today. And I needed to shop for my detox diet.

My tree will probably die, because I won't be able to plant it.
My diet, let's forget about it.

Because I won't leave work before midnight.

I really need t go to the toilet and cry a little.