The day came

The day came, when my dad who, bless him, looks like he was just released from Auschwitz and never reached 140 pounds in his life, told me "do you mind if I prescribe you a diet?". He's a doctor by the way. Said my knees and back are too weak for my weight.
Lost 3kg (about 7 or 8 pounds) In one week with his diet. It's supposed to last 60 days. (It basically consist in fasting).


2 weeks ago one of the senior partners joined a meeting with a client that I was conducting. Videoconference. E stepped into the room I was in and the client (friend of his) said "sit down or we only see your cock" and he answered "this way I'm the right height for Lucia". This morning, after two weeks of avoiding direct confrontation, he cornered me and asked me what was the matter.  Why was I avoiding him.

Tonight I had drinks with my former colleagues, from the firm Vivien worked for. CAN'T THEY SEE ONE PERSON IS MISSING AT THE TABLE?
of course I did not follow the diet, but I puked halfway through and as soon as I came home. Husband's away for  work.

Overall good week from an emotional stand point.

Oh, need to set my alarm at 5h30 cause tomorrow is bank holiday but I need to work. Fuck me. Maybe when they call me a blower right into my face they are right after all.

too late for revenge

Dear Vivien,
so they fired the asshole CEO who made you miserable.
The same one who wouldn't look me in the eye at your funeral.

But it's too late, ain't it?

It's not even revenge, after all, he's retiring as a millionaire, and I don't care.

Maybe, at least, things will improve for those who stayed in the company.

My friend, it's been 5 months and the worst part is there is noone I can talk to about you.

Nor over you

I'm out drinking and the play your favorite  singer.
Will I aver get over you? I start doubting it my friend.
It's been 5 months and it hurts like hell. How could you die so stupidly? No one just drowns for fuck sake
I still love you so much. You were the most amazing person ever. I'll never get over you.

just like that

I ended up fasting for 36 hours, and did not even binge afterwards.
I had not fasted in YEARS.

It was alarming, it gave me an incredible satisfaction.
I'll try again next week

Today I'd rather remember you the way you were,
I'd rather think you still live
Today I will think you are still listening to my ramblings and smile back at me