best day ever

 Yesterday I did something I had not done properly since 2018.

I went running. Well, first I went to the gym, and then I went running outside with S, 4 miles (6km) at a pleasant pace (36 minutes overall).

It was amazing. I had not felt that good in so long. Fort those who were not reading, I used to run a lot, doing longer distances on weekends (12 miles usually), and then I screwed my left knee in 2018 and had a less than perfect surgery at the end of 2019. There have been previous attempts at running again, but none has gone well.

Yesterday I felt like flying. I stopped because I was afraid of overdoing it and of waking up today with a smarting knee, but I could have continued for further 6km without problems. I did not know I was this well trained honestly.

And today my knee does not hurt.

I do not think I can convey how I am beyond myself with joy.

Song for this post: "Runnin' (Lose it all)" by Naughty Boy and Beyoncé

October gloom

 After a long day, largely spent helping out California-based partners of my firm that I'm helping in winning projects with my main client, I texted Mischief

"How come I spend half of my days in calls with LA and SF partners and it is never you?"

I didn't have to wait long for a reply "Hey how are you? Who are you working with?"

And off we went chatting and gossiping a little.

 

At least this is how it played in my mind. In the real world, I did not text him in first place. I am thinking that he will slowly fade away from my thoughts, but after a vivid dream last night I am not so sure this is happening (in case you are wondering, in the dream we were walking and he was talking about his dog). In any case, I am still avoiding to reach out to him and I still feel it would hurt my dignity doing so at this point.

 

In other news, it's the time of the year where I feel frustrated and depressed. We close the fiscal year at the end of June and as partners we are notified our annual compensation at the very end of October/beginning of November, but at this point of the year everyone is anxious to hear the results. I've had (as always I would add) a great year and I'm consistently in the top revenue-making partners of my Group. Unfortunately, two factors play against me:

i) my boss does not believe in the industry I advice (tech & media, while he's a real estate person) and does not understand how I manage to deliver these results (he's very formal, I always show up in jeans and sneakers, and I've come to the conclusion that every year he thinks something very lucky happened and that the results I brought must be a one-off thing)

ii) while I lead the tech & media thing also at Europe West level, most of the work I bring in to the firm is in the US these days (unsurprisingly, given most deals I work on are companies selling apps), and I'm not rated based on this but only in relation to Europe West work.

Finally, the Indian summer we enjoyed is over, and the weather is gloomy. The streets downtown were burning over the weekend, with violent protests boiling (as all around Europe these days). Depressing.

 

Weight wise and goal wise, there is nothing to report.

I've had a chat with chatGPT explaining my goals and it bluntly told me that I'm eating roughly half of the protein I would need and thus thinking I can really improve my pull-ups or my 6pack is unrealistic. I always struggle with proteins indeed. And I am also not losing (nor gaining) weight, but TBH this is not a main concern right now.

I can do 3 unassisted chin-ups when rested (probably 2 pull-ups), while with an elastic band I usually do 3 sets of 8 during my training, and I would want to reach at least 5 unsupported ones. We'll see.

 

Song for this post: Someday (I'm coming back) by Lisa Stansfield

Not yet there, it seems

 Went to the dietician this morning, weighted at 57.5kg (126.7lbs, BMI 19.9).

While my BMI could be lower, I have honestly developed a certain level of muscles over the last 6 months. I may not be able to do pull-ups, but I can do unassisted chin-ups (ok, 3 or 4 depending if I'm rested or not, but still).

This to say, I honestly expected to receive a "maintenance" diet, a pat on my shoulder and a goodbye.

Instead, he said I should try to reach 55kg (121.2lbs - BMI 19). And gave me another appointment in 40 days. I am kind of wondering (provided I meet the target) if at that point he'll say that 53 would be even better considering then the Christmas season brings a lot of food, and maybe then why not make it 50?

I'm probably nasty, but I was honestly surprised.

On a different topic, we're having an Indian summer and I spent the weekend wearing short jeans, thinking it was likely the last chance to show off the legs. Husband muttered all the time (he would prefer me all covered up in baggy clothes of course), but honestly it was too warm for anything else. I don't recall ever such a warm weather in October, but considering I go to work by bike, I'm not complaining. At least we've had sex over the weekend, after a dry spell of September.

Ok, I'm dancing around what's going on. The last few days have been a bit difficult, with a friend from work who called me crying after stepping out of an MRI (I knew he was going for it) where they found him a prostrate cancer, my neighbor visiting yesterday after she's had a brain tumor removed two weeks ago, and a client who called me on Friday to announce he'll be off for a while for pretty much the same reason. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful that Husband, I and our families are overall in good health, and I'm also humbled that these people trust me to talk about private matters. It's just I struggle to find words to console them, I wish I could do more although I perfectly know the best I can do is to listen to them when they need to talk to someone.

Finally, I have not been writing about Mischief but he's not disappeared from my life. As Bath suggested, I'm clearly the emotional crutch and he writes me any time he's not home. I wish I could say I don't think about him, but that would be a lie.

Song for this post: "Say it right" by Nelly Furtado

Too much

 I spent last week in Munich attending work internal meetings and I got a bit too wild. Oktoberfest was in full swing and spent two nights there, the first one in a large tent where I barely touched any alcohol, and the second in a small posh tent where champagne (Ruinart) was literally flowing from 3 liters bottles. I touched no water. All was good until I left with another (female) partner to walk back to the hotel. There are no cabs in Munich during Oktoberfest, and the hotel was a good 40 minutes away. The first half was okay, then I started stumbling. At some point there were stairs and I missed one step, luckily near the bottom, but that was not cool. After that, I'd rather not tell.

The next day was literally awful, but at least that night I went back home.

Can you tell I'm overwhelmed by work? I also had a nasty cold for the last 25 days, which did not help.

I'm still trying to train but of course I have not kept up with the usual schedule of 6 trainings a week. Hopefully I'm getting back to it.

On a better news, on Sunday I was alone at the gym (husband had too much of a cold to come) and I suddenly realized as I was putting weights back in the rack that from a profile my 6 pack if finally noticeable. Front view we're still not there, but side view it's literally impossible to miss. 

This was pretty much the highlight of the month together with the Anyma show I went to with my nephew.

Weight wise: 57.5kg or 126.8lbs. BMI: 19.9

and yet my waist is slimmer than it was 10 years ago at a lower weight - my arms are bigger, which sucks but I guess if I insist with the pull-ups this is what I get. I have the dietician appointment next Monday and am in line with the target he gave me - let's see how it goes.

Song for this post: "Skyfall" by Adele