Wedding party

At our friends wedding, we're having big fun. Many of these people work for TV, and they know how to throw a party.

It's the end of August, the last real day of summer, and everyone feels this (despite the heat that is still going on and on and on, relentless over the past three months and tonight). Everyone is having fun, but they seem to put some extra energy in their having fun.

It seems like a scene from The Great Gatsby.

Crossing the renaissance villa's Italian gardens (facing the sea), I see my husband. standing tall and suntanned among the other people. His back straight, his stance confident, he's one of the few men who do not look overwhelmed by the heat. He's confident, at ease.

And I remember when I met him, it was so clear he was the only one for me.
We both knew it, right away, and as the years went on, things got more difficult - we were faced with more challenges.

I begged him to stay, try to remember what we had in the beginning.

He is charismatic, magnetic, electric, and everybody knows it. When he walks in, everyone stands up to talk to him.

I always have the sense that he is torn between being a good person and missing out on all the opportunities that life can offer a man as magnificent as him.

And in that way, I... understand him.

And I love him, I love him, I love him.



Post Scritptum
the politics opportunity is real. But
 would anyone really want to get involved in politics in this country?
 this people have a lot to hide, and I know some. I know they earn a lot that if off the records, and I'm not sure if there is worse than that
So I don't really think I'll do it.
I'm not going to say I sleep easily, as anxiety is big these days. But at least it's anxiety about what I do, and it's not guilty feeling (ok, lots of guilty feelings 'bout food, but you know what I mean LOL).

MRI outcome

The not so bad news is I did not gain weight over the weekend. I trained, ate about one thousand deep fried pumpkin flowers, one shit ton of salad, and somehow, maintained.

The bad news is, I got my MRI scheduled on Monday, and the outcome is, while the bones are fine (which is good I admit), the tendons of both my hips are not fine.
And this means, I'm supposed to stop training.

Now, this is not going to happen.
I'm getting married in 35 days and I'm supposed to fit into that fucking tight dress I bought.

The upside is they gave me different painkillers which are also supposed to smooth the problem, and those DO work, so finally I'm walking almost like a normal girl.
Also, I'm seeing a physiotherapist on weekends.

I did drop the 30 days shred at day 24 (many of the moves hurt too much), and I cannot run.
I have picked up the 6pack6weeks by Jillian Michaels, and I'll try to do the elliptical machine at the gym.
Honestly, this whole thing pisses me off so much I can't even tell you.

Stop training for one month means throwing away months of fatigue and sweat. I hate it! 

humiliation? check

So I went for the first trial of the wedding dress....

.... and it took three ladies to zip it.

FML

on a different note, I've been doing the 30 days shred for 10 consecutive days (plus some running), and tomorrow I'll shift to level 2

sharing the first tiny bits

Okay ladies,

this is (almost) it:

Imagine it in white, without the applications on the waist, ans well, it falls better than this (the model has her hands in the pockets, which I guess is something you don't normally do when walking down the aisle), and it gets right to my knees...
... and then yes, that's my wedding dress.

now, if I only can manage to drop like 100 pounds before the date, everything will be perfect
xoxoxo

Not good enough

Went trying wedding gown again this morning (work is FINALLY slow, hallelujah!)

Now, don't hate me for speaking the truth.

Trying wedding gowns can be, for people like us, a very taxing experience. Most of the gowns wouldn't fit, the seller couldn't even pull up the zipper, not even with me blowing out all the air in my chest.
Of course the seller is a nice woman, who'll lie straight to your face, telling you that you're beautiful, and she'll pin extra-tissue everywhere, and try to make you feel beautiful.

The fact that I had to pee badly probably didn't help. Nor the fact that my friend who came along (we're getting married the same week, so we go to try gowns together) is far skinnier than I'll ever be. Well, at least we try very different models.

Finally, how can I possibly spare 3000 Euros on a gown I'll wear once in my life? I can't claim I'm poor, I do  have that kind of money after all these years of work, I do have savings. But let's face the truth, I could feed, dress and send to school 20 kids in Nepal for one year with that kind of money. I can't spend it on a wedding gown.

(but I want it badly.
shut up you stupid asshole.
but I really love it.
yeah and you look like a giant pink and white marshmallow with it. If you were skinny, maybe you could splurge on it, but face it, you look like a fucking whale, so forget about it. Buy a premade dress for 100 USD on the net and shut the fuck up)

I must confess I'm not training enough. I keep having a slight temperature that won't go away, and that makes running very difficult.

Shopping

While still overworked, I did go and try some bridal gowns last weekends.

Before I even walked into the bridal store, I bought these on sale

While it's true I'm supposed to save money right now, I spend an awful lot of time in random meeting with clients, and a girl cannot always wear the same thing right?

Then I moved to the place I was supposed to go, with this chick who works with me: she's engaged, but her mom lives in Mexico, so cannot come to Milan to go shopping with her, then I offered to do it together.

Downside: she turned out to be far skinnier then me.

Upside: we tried completely different gowns, so at least the comparison was not so mortifying.

This is the one I prefer so far. I know girls, it's short. I'm not blind. Long dress simply don't suit me.

Wedding thinspo

I still have trouble believing it's for real.

I've been wanting this for so long. No one in my family has reached my age without being married.

Now I really just want to go home and tell my parents.

Here's some wedding thinspo

The Deal

I have very little time and I'm quite absent from Blogger lately.
But I feel I have to share this.

I'm getting Married!!

now, you all now I'm as happy as one can be and bla bla

The thing is: now I have no excuses. In order to fit into the dress (which I already have, long story for another day), I need to lose a lot of weight.
Let's start!

xoxo