best day ever

 Yesterday I did something I had not done properly since 2018.

I went running. Well, first I went to the gym, and then I went running outside with S, 4 miles (6km) at a pleasant pace (36 minutes overall).

It was amazing. I had not felt that good in so long. Fort those who were not reading, I used to run a lot, doing longer distances on weekends (12 miles usually), and then I screwed my left knee in 2018 and had a less than perfect surgery at the end of 2019. There have been previous attempts at running again, but none has gone well.

Yesterday I felt like flying. I stopped because I was afraid of overdoing it and of waking up today with a smarting knee, but I could have continued for further 6km without problems. I did not know I was this well trained honestly.

And today my knee does not hurt.

I do not think I can convey how I am beyond myself with joy.

Song for this post: "Runnin' (Lose it all)" by Naughty Boy and Beyoncé

Nothin's fine I'm torn

 Well, it's not as dramatic as the title may suggest, but I've torn AGAIN my left knee meniscus, the same one I broke 3 years ago and had surgery on almost two years ago. It took me 15 months from the surgery to walk okay, and now it's fucked up again. (and even before this last event, it was understood that running was a souvenir from the past).

I do not expect anyone has been reading this rambling blog for the last 10 years or so, but running used to be a big part of my life - until 3 years ago. And then, I got fat: no wonder, as I eat the same (or more) and I used to run something in between 18km and 40km per week.

In any case, there is no way I'm repeating surgery . frankly speaking, it was SO NOT WORTH IT - the pains were much more significant than the benefits.

The only problem is this only leaves me one option which is to lose weight. And instead, of course, I keep gaining :-(

PS how did I tear it this time? Oh, by doing exactly the exercises that all doctors and physiotherapists have suggested I do. What the fuck. 

Cold as stone

You can sleep forever, still, you will be tired
You can stay as cold as stone, still, you won't find peace.

I feel I'm just spending (wasting time)

Only with mellow are you thin enough to slide through
Don't let nothin' ride you
If the sun or the moon would give way to doubt, they would immediately go out
Only one swallow doesn't make a summer - but you gotta start somewhere

I've been waiting, I'm still waiting, I've been waiting, I've been waiting, I've been waiting, I'm still waiting
I'm with you - with you IT'S ALWAYS ONE STEP TOO FAR
One step too far

Last night

"Are you driving home tonight?"

"Yes Mom, as promised. I'll chack on Granny as soon as I'm there"

"Good. I did not leave any food at home. You'll be better fasting anyways"

"Ok Mom"

(And what about Husband?)

Ended feeding eggs, salad and anchovies with cheese to Husband, and a small portion for me.

Today

Woke up extra early, Husband drove back to the city and I went running by the lake. It was awesome.

I'm no longer use to being alone. That's what years of marriage do to you I suppose.

Does Granny feel this way? She's 97. It's Thursday and she is not used to Mom being away. Called already twice this morning saying why did I not show up, it's Saturday and we planned to shower. 

Poor Granny. I'll go later today of course. 

Running

Well at least all this training is showing in terms of running results.
Did 18km yesterday (with a bad bronchitis) running at 5'31'' per km, and I wasn't even tired at the end. I mean, I could have run way faster, but after the first 10k my husband wanted to slow down and I preferred running with him than sprinting ahead.
In terms of weight - blah.
I seem forever stuck between 60 and 61 kilos.

All the rest sucks right now

Not making any sense

At the gym this morning - at the fourth km, almost passed out. Had to stop running.
Jogged 20km last Sunday with Husband and two friends. It was a slow jog, on a trail (with lots of ups and downhill), we took it easy and completed in 2h30'.

Weight is plateaud
whatever.

Allergy is taking over me.
8 days and I'll be in Crete.
Falasarna, Elafosissi, Samaria Gorges. Can't wait.

The word Falasarna is so ancient its meaning is lost; civilization existed there so long ago it's not even Greek. Yet, today, it's almost wild, inhabited. to me, Falasarna means paradise.

Also, found out the Spain thing is all a misunderstanding.

Falasarna

Elafonissi

This point of the Samaria Gorge is called Sideroportes (The Iron Gates). Makes me thing of Moria gates

argh

My relay marathon is next Sunday

and my idiot husband left our running shoes at his parents place

weight has been stuck for 3 weeks now. fuck, fuck, fuck.

(how the fuck am I gonna run 10k in a decent time with old, overused, no longer having any kind of amortization shoes?)

Gah

small steps are okay.

but I'm starving and yet still 133.2lbs / BMI 21.1 (that would be 60.4kg)

run, run, run

Don't forget your vitamins, your water and your km to run. And say goodbye to Grandfather

My Grandfather finally passed away yesterday.
There's nothing there to be said, besides that at least he went in peace.

I've been good with my training program. I'm running 21km per week (gonna increase that progressively, but I don't think I'll get above 25km). Basically I run 5 to 7km twice weektime early in the morning and 10km on Sunday afternoons. On top, I do pull-ups, abs and lounges after running, and I do the 30days shred by Jillina Michales twice during the week. (Basically it's 3 circuits, each with 3min strength, 2min cardio and 1min abs, but it is intense).

S is gonna be in Rome for the next two weeks; I expect a significant upside for my restricting, although I will join him next weekend and man, Roman food is the most exquisite in the world, so that may be dangerous.

On Saturday I went shopping and refused to purchase trousers - until I lose a lot of weight, that is.

I started 2014 at 140.4lbs (63.7kg, BMI22.3) . SHAME ON ME

I'm currently at 135.6lbs (61.5kg, BMI 21.5).

On April 6 I'm running a 10km run with my boss. My goal is 55 minutes. My weight goal is to be 57kg by then, and 55kg bu May15 (when I'll go to Crete on vacation).

This is achievable. It is. So yes, water, vitamins and training.

Run like hell

Ran 6 miles last night (10km). Fast (at least fast for me)
I had not run further than 4 miles since before the wedding (in August) due to hip problems first and laziness afterwards.
Am ridiculously proud of myself.
Weight wise though, things are not going well.
Bah

30 days shred challenge - update

I have been consistently training over the last 11 days.
in addition to the daily dose of 30daysshred, I went running 4 times (although only 4 or 5 miles each time).

Yesterday I moved to level 2 of the 30DS

thoughts: I positively hate Jillian Michaels
I have only dropped 1 pound, but then again I have to admit bingeing a lot last week.

Last night I could't do the whole lev2, I had to stop for about 30 seconds of the second strength circuit because I had cramps in my right leg.

While I will have to skip Saturday because we'll be at S mom place by the sea, I do mean to keep up with the challenge and complete it, with this one time exception.

Fitspo porn - 30days challenge

Since I can't seem to lose weight I decided to embrak in something I've already managed in the past.
I'm leaving for Greece (=bikini) on May 28, so I started my 30 days challenge, bu which I mean that I have to train at least 25 times in 30 days.
Training in this case means:
- running 4 to 5 miles AT LEAST three times a week (5 to 7km)
- the remaining training can be taken from www.benderfitness.com from her month 1 bikini challenge, using 20 reps for each set, and going throuhg each workout twice.

I can do it.

In the meanwhile, as the lovely Peri says, fitsporation is my porn, so here we go...

Civil War - part II

What we've got here is failure to communicate.
some men, you just can't reach..

Wolverine has put his 2 weeks. He's leaving. My boss is leaving and I'll be damned, for now nobody's gonna stand up for me when promotion time comes, or when salary raise time comes and so on. The whole team I devoted myself to over the last 12 months has left!!!
And he didn't even warn me. I thought we were friends, I really did.

(all these dreams are swept aside)

In the meanwhile, I spent 4 consecutive days stuffing my face with food, proceeded weighting myself this morning, proceeded choking when the scale showed up 137.1lbs, proceeded hitting the gym and running 10km (6miles) at a good pace, and then here at work. UGH. My life needs improvement.

I hope you're all doing good!

I don't need your civil war!

..and I don't feel fine.

part of the division I work in is leaving. Not as in a spin off: each Director and Partner is seeking a different job on their own.
The problem is, our division is deeply fractured by an internal civil war.
The problem is, I belong to the part that has lost the war and that is leaving.

I didn't chose side: they simply started planning me on their jobs (Wolverine especially), and then the others started thinking that I belonged to Wolverine and eventually I was "marked".
This was okay in the past, I mean, my choice would have been different but I did find my place so I thought it would work.
But now Wolverine and his gang are dropping dead like flies at the end of the summer, and I don't know what will become of me.

(remind yourself, that you can't trust freedom when it's not in your hands
and everybody's fighting for their promised land!
I don't need your civil war!!!
It feeds the rich, while it buries the poor!
...look at the leaders we follow,
look at the lies we swallowed)


Luckily, Steve belongs to the other side, so at least the risk is balanced.
But I really don't know what I'm going to do. This happens with the worst possible timing: the job market here is non existent right now.


On a more positive note, Wolverine prepared me a new training schedule which is VERY hard, but so far I'm managing to stick to it. There it goes:

Day 1 - 10km running at 10.5km/hour. No stops allowed
Day 2 - 2km warm up; 10 times 400mt at 12.5km/hour, with intervals of 1minute and 30 seconds between each 400mt, walking at fast pace (6-6.5km/hour)
Day 3 - two times 5km or 3 times 3km, at 11.5km/hour.
Extra day: 1 hour of cardio

Let's hope this will boost my metabolism.
Weight is stable. At least I'm not gaining. Am kinda worried about Xmas, but I really hope to manage to put in some extra training sessions.

Drugs

In first place, I would ask you not to judge.

In second place, please skip this post entirely if you feel that you can’t stand talking about drugs, if you hate drugs, and even more if you’re insanely attracted to drugs.

I mean it, okay?

When I was 18, for almost one year I did a lot of drugs.

Even though I have no regrets, when I say a lot, I mean, well, a lot. Like, over 3 grams of coke every week, plus lots of weed and occasional other recreational things (like, twice a month something else on top).

After 9 months or so, I realized that the boy I was dating and I were on different paces: recreational for me, addiction for him. Eventually, after cutting drugs off my life, I cut him off as well, because we made different choices.

Nowadays I’m basically clean, by which I mean that I may smoke (very little) weed a couple times a year, and same thing for the white stuff (of course not at the same times). Considering I don’t smoke cigarettes at all, I’m fine with this lifestyle, and please, I don’t need judgments.

However, let’s face the truth: cocaine makes things damn easy. Not only I feel no urge to eat, on the last two times I did it, on the next day I went running and girls, it was AMAZING. It makes me feel like I could run forever, and I manage to keep a faster pace than usual (two months ago I managed to keep a 11.5km per hour pace for 6.5km, which is a little over 4 miles I think).

Two people in my family are cardiologists, so yes, I know everything about the side effects. I repeat, I’m not a regular. I will never be. I have no urge towards drugs.

But girls, I could almost entirely stop eating through it.

Family drama - Fitness thinspo

Previously on Waiting for the miracle to come:

Grandfather: about 10 days ago, he went nuts and hit multiple times my grandmother with his crutches. Both of them are 88, both have serious health issues, and lived at home. After the hitting and another violent outbreak, and he begged us to take him away from home, we found him a place in a nursing home, which is honestly not bad, in a nice place with a great view (and that charges us 2.500 Euros a week - over 3 thousand USD).

From then, it's been downhill, and not in a good way: after a couple of days he started forgetting things, then stopped eating and so on.

In this episode

After working on Saturday (fuck), yesterday I went with the Sponsor (aka Dad) to see Grandfather. In addition to not eating, he's completely lost his mind (in less than 10 days). He has no clue about where he is, is desperate to go home.

Grandmother, however, is having serious problems and may need to replace her knee prosthesis, which at 88 is no small deal.

Dad is not doing good either, working too much and with too many things on his shoulders, the last thing he needed right now was facing his own crying father, who was begging to be taken home.

And in this mess, nobody even guessed that he could stay with my parents: when they got married, he cut them financially, and never ever helped them out, so the Panther (aka Mom) pretty much hates him, and can't really be blamed for that, so there's no way in hell she would agree to look after him. Dad, on the other side, works well over 70 hours every week, so he's no option either.

All in all, this was deeply depressing. I'll try to use these nursing home souvenirs as a motivator for hitting the gym more often.

In the meanwhile, have some fitness thinspo and motivators!

winner of NYC Marathon 2011 (woman)