Ana Cobra Starship tribute (HELL YES)

129.9lbs this morning. FINALLY breaking the 130 wall.
I know Easter is ahead, but right now I feel soooooo goooooood
BMI 20.6

2 more kilos and BMI will be below 20.
I'm starting to think I can manage to reach 54 by May 31 (leaving for Greece on that day)


You were a problem child
been grounded your whole life
so now you're running wild...

You think you're hot shit, uh I love it...

Stumbling but yeah, you're still looking hella fine! Keep doing what you're doing!!!!

Well you're a HOT MESS
and I'm falling for you

You're a hot mess,
I'm loving it HELL YES!!!

(If you're dancing on the table you go you gotta go, dancing on the tables, they say that you're unstable, you're a hot mess!!)

and, above all, my favorite quote:
I make the good girls go bad!
(you make me wanna lose control!)

Happy Easter girls!!

xoxo

Out of the blue

131.8lbs
BMI 20.9

Horrible.

Yet, the doctor complimented me so much because apparently I keep loosing fat and building muscles. It is true I'm training a lot, but honestly?
I want to see 120
(and then 110)
(and then 100)

But I guess it's better than nothing.

And then I went home this afternoon, to spend the weekend with the Parents.
And then, the sponsor (aka dad), out of the blue, said "You're really fit now, totally in good shape".

And that, my darlings, made my day.

(just to make Parents place safe, I bought an incredible amount of safe food (no carbs, no fat). Hopefully I can survive the weekend without ruining everything).

Spring has come lovelies. Time to get ready for that bikini you just saw while window shopping. You can do it!

You just gotta ignite the light, and let it shine

Happy birthday to me!

Well, I didn't get Alessandra Ambrosio's looks (and skinny body) for my birthday, but

I am losing

slowly.

136.5lbs (61.9kg) this morning. BMI: 21.7

small steps, but it's the right direction.

Also, Marcus message was a great birthday gift by itself. I hope you decide to stay in touch, my friend. Of course, whatever your decision will be, I will respect that, but I do hope you'll stay.

And, Ivi, I was so happy to find you!!! Your creativity always leaves me speechless.

Oh, in case you were wondering... I'm going to rock the city tonight. I'll be hanging out at Cavalli's place. After all, why bother living in the city of wonder if you don't take advantage of these things?

Love you all

Skinny past

I’m never tired of writing it: once upon a time, I was skinny. For real.

What never occurred me is, back when I was skinny, I was a real puta! Really guys, it never occurred me before. Now that I’m fat, I realize this depended on two factors:

- men used to hit on me all the time

- I was more confident in my skinny body than I am now in my fatty one.

(Thinking about it now, those days I should have worn a T-shirt à la David Guetta with a good slogan such as “FUCK ME, I’m Skinny!”).

I mean, let’s face it. I always thought Steve was a bit of a man-whore, and I recently found out I’ve had sex with more people he did (when I say I found out, it means, I found out and he didn’t, thanx god!).

I always thought that I was an average girl (I’m 28 and I’ve slept with circa 30 guys) dating prude guys (lol), but finding out that even Steve is less experienced than I am… Well, all I can say is, not displaying the full whore-mode when we first started dating was, in retrospect, a genius moves on my side!

Just to be clear, I haven’t slept with anyone but Steve and the ex over the last 5 years (and Alejandro, but I’d never admit this to anyone I know, plus he was an ex from the past so that shouldn't really count).

(all in all the saddest thing is, in my dreams I’m still the skinny bitch I was 10 years ago. Always. I never dream of fat Lucy, not even in nightmares. And when I look into the mirror, I still expect Lucy’s Shadw to stare back of me. Instead, it’s always fat Lucy)

Anyway, enough of my (past) sluttiness.

The thing is, girls, I’ve been busy and overworked, I may still be, but I’m back on the wagon.

Weighted 132.3lbs (60kg) on Monday morning, but I am back in control, with 129.9lbs (58.9kg) this morning and starting the Sacred Heart diet once again (I already prepared the soup last night + I hit the gym this morning after 15 days of laziness). A bit old-fashioned maybe, but the sacred heart diet always worked for me.

So, fuck fad diet haters, I’m going to rock it. I’ll need all your support girls!!

PS: Why am I not fasting? Well, I don’t feel ready for a real fast, and I lack the right motivation. I lack my all times favorite fast buddy, the great Marcus. But alas, Marcus went to university in autumn and has been MIA since. I hope you’re happy and skinny Marcus, but you are missed.

Sunday morning: pear and gym

Ladies and gentlemen, please hold your breath..... Lucy's getting on her scale...

124.4lbs

Step down. Step up again. The number is still 124.4

I grin like an idiot and watch myself in the mirror. Yes, my tummy is flatter. I guess the fruit + veggies idea is working.
I also burnt 400kcals last night at the gym.
The only bad thing is, I have to go to work again today and tnight I'm leaving once more. Plus, I've barely slept because of an eye infecton that hurts like hell. But seriously, who cares? I'll be 120lbs or less by June 20, it's a promise to myself.

I love you skinnies.
I'm eating a pear for breakfast, then I'm off to the gym before work!!

Is this the way?

125.8 lbs





small steps, big, HUGE patience.

I shall not fuck up over the weekend

I shall not fuck up over the weekend

I shall not fuck up over the weekend

(maybe I could record this and have it on my ipod playing all weekend long?)

…I know I can stop the hunger if I will the other way.

Stats: 129.6lbs

Then I see you standing there in the mirror, wanting more from me, and all I can do is try.

I remember when I said goodbye to the way of life I thought I had designed for me. And I ran away. Can't do that anymore though.

I ate again yesterday.

The Boyfriend asked me to compute his BMI, last weekend. 26.4. He said (I’m quoting) “Who cares, I’m not fat anyway. It’s all muscles”.
No kidding, he believes that.

I’m going out with the guys tonight. Steve and Mick for sure, maybe Maryse, maybe Alvaro, we’ll see.
Getting drunk for sure.

As the YaYa sisters said: Smoke, drink and DON’T THINK

I love you girls. Your comments make me stronger. You are beautiful

Rejection

I know, I said I would have talked about the exes popping out, but my mind is on something else today
Alejandro did not come to pay the visit he had promised last week.
It was fine, because Thursday night I came home from work at 10PM, and left again at 6AM on Friday, so I was exhausted. He called on Thursday afternoon, and said he was busy with work and tired, and I said fine, then he promised he would swing by on Monday or Tuesday. It’s been a while since we last met, so I was looking forward to it. He sent me a couple text later Thursday evening, apologizing again and reiterating his promise to come by early this week.

He did not come or call, and I really feel rejected.
I know it’s silly, but that’s the way I feel. It’s just because he feels so compelled to make promises, and then he doesn’t keep them. Last night I could have called and told him to bring his lousy ass to my place, and he would have done it. But I don’t wanna be clingy. It’s not just with Alejandro: I’m like that with most of my friends. I want them to seek me. And nobody did it over the last two or three days. This makes Alejandro’s silence way worse.

So Matilda wondered about our relationship. The truth is, I cannot trust Alejandro as a boyfriend, I never could, and I could not rely on him. I mean, let’s face it, over the last 6 years he cheated on every single girlfriend he had. And I know it for sure, since he’s cheated on them with me. I’m no saint lovelies. So I think Alejandro would make a lousy version of what I call a boyfriend. And today he also happens to be a lousy friend, but at least he’s RELIABLE as a friend: should I need anything, he’d come over for sure.

Maybe he’s just avoiding me because he knows I’m fat right now. But I will get better. I will.

A slightly positive note: this morning I was 126.1 lbs. It’s not good enough, but at least it’s SOMETHING, a little step in the right direction I guess. I have only eaten soup (not much), spinaches, salad (no sauce) and green apples over the last two days. I’ll try to stick to this regimen.
Take care lovely readers.