a daytrip that was easier than expected

 A family friend had dinner with the Parents on New Year's Eve, and texted me on the following day. I asked her how did she think my Mom was faring, and  the answer was not that well.

Between that and the fact that they're starting to reinforce lockdown measures today, I decided for a day trip at the lake yesterday, and drove there in the morning.

I don't know what I was expecting, but perhaps I did the right thing? Mother as happy to get to spend a couple hours with me, she vented about Granny live-in aid (as she always does), but overall she seemed happy to see me. We went together to see Granny, who has no clue of who I am, but was a bit more lucid than usual, and at some point emerged from her torpor and told my Mom "thank you for taking care of me, you are so good". This meant a lot to Mom, and with all the effort she's putting in taking care of Granny, I was so happy she got this at least.

So overall, it was tiring, but I'm happy I went.

Tomorrow we're getting the PCR Covid test (necessary to go to Maldives) - we both took a quick test yesterday (negative) so hopefully it should be okay... but you never really know, more than half of the people I know with 3 doses are still positive... fingers crossed!

a selfish post

 While pretty much everyone's on vacation, I decided to stay in the city and catch up with a couple of projects where the managers are home sick with Covid. I'm down of three resources in my team due to Covid - and each of them had been vaccinated with two shots in summer.

Fuck.

I'm getting my third dose next Sunday, and I've been careful and managed to avoid covid sofar. But I'm overwhelmed with work, having to step in for those colleagues. In addition, other assholes are seriously underperforming, which results in more and more time to review.

I've tried to increase my training, and while I do see a difference (meaning that I manage to increase my time and resistance on the elliptical machine), yesterday I managed to walk around with a too dried-skin on my feet that resulted in a long cut that now hurts. Shit.

I really hope we're not going into another lock-down - trip to Maldives is lined up for January 6, and both Husband and I are really looking forward to it. Fingers crossed.

Signs of "normal" ahead

 The moment I stepped into the venue, a song from my pre-teen years started playing. The venue was entirely reserved for our party, and the sound was a bit eerie. It so sounds like my life with this job, and it goes, more or less like this (with some minor, liberal changes in the translation).

It's useless to talk about it, you'd never understand. I follow you anywhere, just to see where you lead me; I feel a bit childish, but I know you won't stop the dream of living in a movie.

And suddenly, you came into my life - I don't know who decided it, but I found myself in a daily struggle with rationality, and it is fine, as long as it brings me forward.

How come? What are you? To do this to me?

Nights and days all over you, caring for you

Tell me how come? What are you? To do this to me?

All this time for you, praying for a yes.

I know it sounds silly, but it didn't. Even more so when I later found out that my husband had asked the guys from the venue to play this when we walked in <3

The party was amazing, and I think part of that was due to the fact that it had been so long since the last time the team was able to gather and party properly, which used to be one of the beautiful things of this job and completely and suddenly disappeared 16 months ago.

My team was adorable - they even gifted me with a bottle of Sassicaia (honestly, they shouldn't have) - when they kicked us out because we were violating the curfew, they bought me the silly crown below. The pic is from the morning after.

I've also received my first shot of Pfizer and so did husband - we're scheduled for the second one mid-July. I cannot wait to go back to normal life.

I wanted it bad

 The gym finally opened, and it was right about time - as suddenly yesterday my sister in law announced that she will get married on June 5, and I'm quite confident I cannot fit into any of my dresses.

I managed to do some spinning and then a yoga workout this morning, and man, did I miss real training! It's also good for the allergy - which has been a pain lately, I even passed out on Sunday due to low blood pressure as I haven't been sleeping a lot.

Of course it's not the same as running - I'll always miss running I think. I even dream of it sometimes, and it feels like these good dreams in which you can fly or you can breathe under water (you guys do et these right??).

I started this week at 160lbs, with a BMI of 25.4. I ama ashamed, but I feel I need to put this down, in order to focus on improving. In two days I'll be eligible to book my vax, and I'll probably be able to get my first shot in July. It's high time to leave covid behind, get out, work out and drop this belly.

On June 2nd the firm will announce the promotions to equity partners. I still do not know if I'll be in the announcement... If I get promoted, I'll go back to bright blonde hair. If I'm not, I'll go for a darker shade (ash blonde). It's a bit sad that I no longer care as much as I used to...

And I wanted it, I wanted it bad
But there were so many red flags
Now another one bites the dust
Yeah, let's be clear I'll trust no one
You did not break me
I'm still fighting for peace
I've got thick skin and an elastic heart
But your blade it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard
I may snap and I move fast
But you won't see me fall apart
Cos I've got an elastic heart

(SIA)

Testing time

 Husband phone pings as we're already in bed and I immediately snap "please turn on night mode". I'm nasty, but on my defense he always manages to make noises with his devices, with plastic bottles of water or with ANYTHING at night while I struggle to sleep.

He reads the message, inhales and hands me his phone.

It's a colleague of his, whose asshole teenage son spent August snogging around with whatever had 2 legs in Sardinia and is now Covid positive.

Husband office gets shut down immediately, while waiting that the asshole teenager's dad gets tested and then waiting for the results.

And of course this happens when my parents are leaving for their annual week of vacation in 3 days, and I'm supposed to spend next week with my grandmother (who is turning 97 year old in November) since my mom is away.

Fuck.

So, after a complex research (average waiting time to get myself and Husband tested in Milan is now 8 days...) I managed to book a slot for tomorrow morning. Meanwhile, fingers crossed. We are both perfectly fine, as his colleague is, but many people are now positive and feeling well - I can't risk my grandma's health.

shut-in

...and we are still here.
The whole country is in shut down; 90% of the time I think this is a pneumonia that spreads a bit more then a flu, and it will never hit healthy people like us.
That it is handed badly, and that this complete quarantine is an absurd situation.

Than I hear about someone I know, someone young and fit and healthy, who is in Intensive Care and I wonder.

After a while I revert to my initial thinking because the alternative, the possibility that this will destroy our civilization is too dramatic even for a drama queen like truly yours.


Positive things:
since I'm crashing at my parents, I can go for long walks in the woods next to the lake. Spring is amazing, there's plenty of flowers growing in the woods, sunny and warm weather - mixed with the quarantine, this means you get to enjoy all the above in a very private way. I love it.

Negative things:
economy went down the drain two weeks ago - it will take us 5 years minimum to recover
as such, I'll never find an easy way out from my current job
my mom keeps cooking and I keep eating. I probably gained 10 pounds already