The Horrors is how I've come to define the 2021-2025 period, when I was always feeling unwell and all doctors told me I just had to lose weight and be less stressed (and then it turned out I have a womb tumor that was affecting all my body). If I have to recap 2026 so far, I got diagnosed, started treating the issue, starting feeling like a champ (ok like before 2020) and got in the best shape of my life. I also lost 22kg or 48lbs since my highest weight.
The reason I'm writing this is that a difficult part of the process was getting over the fact that I feel I wasted 4 years of my life and that it could have been avoided with just a simple, harmless scan had any gynecologist actually listened to me.
I do not intend to dwell any further on this, my goal is to enjoy my life as much as I can, but today I'm sick (I have a step throat) and here's the thing: except for the throat ache, today I feel exactly how I felt almost daily over those 4 years:
- back pain
- hurting knee
- every step feels miserable on my joints
- standing up from a chair feels taxing
- overall miserable and prone to tears
(at least I'm not bleeding by hey). The main difference is I know by tomorrow I'll feel better and by the end of this week I'll be back in my champion shape.
And guys I can positively tell you I am amazed at how I still got my shit together over those long painful years. I now forgive myself for the weight gain and for everything. Actually, I deserve a treat for how good I was (ok it will be a black decaf but still :-) )
Sometimes self forgiveness is also important.
Song for this post: "F**kin' Perfect" by P!nk
