More zombies please

 Believe it or not, just as I wrote my last post, that night Mischief reappeared. I am starting to think I have jinx powers - when I write here he disappears, he resurfaces. When I write here he's supposed to call he never does.

I also realize what this actually means: he's just not that into me and he probably writes and calls when he feels lonely or bored, or when he needs something from me.

In case you were wondering, he just randomly texted, it was late and I was with work friends at a champagne tasting experience which should have involved 6 wines and actually involved 12 glasses. It was a fun night overall, I sent him a pic of the glasses and then he went on bitching a bit about how he works too hard and has too many social nights with clients. As much as my heart kind of skipped a bit when I saw he was texting, I was overall unimpressed. I'll try not to initiate any conversation going forward (but the reality is that if I travel to the US I will text him, let's face it, even though he said he does not want to see me, because I apparently have 0 dignity - and I am likely to travel to the US in Autumn). 

On a different note, my training schedule still involves some elliptical machine sessions, which I especially love because I watch those films and shows that my husband is not keen on while doing this. I try to watch them in English (unless if they are French of course) to practice a bit. The thing is lately (after finishing Euphoria I should say) I have indulged in romance (One day, Before Sunset - which really struck, Notting Hill). I do not think this is good for me right now, so once I'm done with Notting Hills I shall go back to something violent an unromantic - my top pics are usually shows involving zombies, although I will re-watch Fuada in the autumn before the new season comes out. If you have recommendations, they're welcome! (I would love to watch Station Eleven as I adored the book, but it's not available in Italy).

Weight update: 60.3kg - 132.9lbs, BMI 20.9

Final appointment with the dietician in a week and I still have one kg to go - fingers crossed

Song for this post: "The Spectre" in the Alosa version

Jeans and clients

I lost count of the jeans I've bought and discarded this year as they were getting too loose. 

Last night I was talking to a client (my main and my favorite by far incidentally)  and he was commenting the counterparty requests on a deal we're working on and he said "it's like the thing you always say, right? about how anyone can lose 20kg by dieting but what we're buying is the current situation, not a hypothetical adjustment". And I said "so true! but I may need to change example because I lost 19 kg, you have not seen me in a while". And he was like "really??? are you like massively training, or dieting or both?" and I explained and honestly, I think it's the first time I realized that I have really lost 19 kg and in pounds the number is even more satisfying (42lbs).

If I'm being honest, I'm also more slim than I used to be at the same weight in the past - I think it is because I am doing a lot of strength training on top of cardio, and I never lifted in the past - my posture has improved as well.

Mischief has of course disappeared entirely, as expected. To Bath point, yes, he is married and has two teenage kids. I may also add that there was a bump in his marriage many years ago when he spent a night with a colleague, who later sent a letter to his wife informing her she had given him a blow job.

Which incidentally brings me to the BJ topic - I never understand if Americans are obsessed with blow jobs or if they simply don't get them at home? I realize it's my neurodivergent mind that dwells on these kind of topics, but I have come to peace years ago with the fact that my mind is wired differently than most people's.

Weight update: 60.8kg - 134lbs - BMI 21.0

Song for this post: "Dernière Danse" by Indila

Snap

So I'm snapping, one, two

Where are you?

You're still in my heart

Snapping, three, four

Don't need you here anymore

Get out of my heart

'Cause I might snap

Working on my goals (still supported by the elastic band though - is there an elastic band equivalent for my feelings?)

Weight: 61.3kg - 135lbs - BMI 21.2

Song: Snap! by Rosa Lynn

Lucy at the gym

Do you remember that ana song?

Lucy at the gym
she's there everytime I go
and I don't go that often
so she must live at the gym.

This is how my coworkers talk about me, lately.
I currently have two subscriptions to two different gyms. At one I go with Husband in the morning; at the other (next to the office) I go over lunch break.
I'm training 7 to 9 times a week. Running, swimming and HIIT/Tabata. Fuck I even got a Personal Trainer.
I have about one month to waist (hopefully by mid March I'll have a new job): let's make the best of it right?
Also it's the only thing restraining me from losing it completly at my current work.

Keep on Lucy, keep on working working.....

Day Four

My hands are shaking. I did train last night, but this morning I gave up running, as I felt the danger of passing out and/or embarrassing myself by vomiting (and thus exposing my fasting to my husband) was concrete.

On the sad side, I've only dropped 2kg (just a little over 4 punds), and I was hoping for more. Granted, I did have a bowl of steamed spinach last night, and I'm planning to have another one for lunch today - let's face it, passing out at work isn't an option, but still. Let's hope to see a better number on the scale tomorrow morning.

Back to old habits

Do you remember when you used to fast?

I didn't think I was any longer capable of fasting. The last time must have been in 2011 or maybe even before. Yet, somehow, I've been fasting for 62 hours, and I hope I can go on. The plan is keeping on until Friday night/Saturday morning.

Oh, I had forgotten entirely how deeply satisfying fasting can be!! In case you are wondering, I've had so far two detox drinks (spinach, fennel, celery and chia seeds), and a bowl of green salad (no oil, no sauce, just pure lettuce), which I do consider as fasting. In addition, I worked out twice (gym + running, and one Kayla ITsines BBG workout), and I plan to workout tonight as well (another Kayla Itsines session).

Let's face it, the only reasons I can actually make it are i) my husband is away/working all the time and has work dinners pretty much all week long, and ii) I'm doing nothing at work.

Work, by the way, is so bad right now I don't even want to talk about it.

Well let's see how long I can make it last. I kinda feel younger.

Don't forget your vitamins, your water and your km to run. And say goodbye to Grandfather

My Grandfather finally passed away yesterday.
There's nothing there to be said, besides that at least he went in peace.

I've been good with my training program. I'm running 21km per week (gonna increase that progressively, but I don't think I'll get above 25km). Basically I run 5 to 7km twice weektime early in the morning and 10km on Sunday afternoons. On top, I do pull-ups, abs and lounges after running, and I do the 30days shred by Jillina Michales twice during the week. (Basically it's 3 circuits, each with 3min strength, 2min cardio and 1min abs, but it is intense).

S is gonna be in Rome for the next two weeks; I expect a significant upside for my restricting, although I will join him next weekend and man, Roman food is the most exquisite in the world, so that may be dangerous.

On Saturday I went shopping and refused to purchase trousers - until I lose a lot of weight, that is.

I started 2014 at 140.4lbs (63.7kg, BMI22.3) . SHAME ON ME

I'm currently at 135.6lbs (61.5kg, BMI 21.5).

On April 6 I'm running a 10km run with my boss. My goal is 55 minutes. My weight goal is to be 57kg by then, and 55kg bu May15 (when I'll go to Crete on vacation).

This is achievable. It is. So yes, water, vitamins and training.

The doctor said..

I can train. At least, that's what he thinks. I'm allowed to do:
-10min on the elliptical, OR
-10min swimming (crawl or back)
AND
limited squats
AND unlimited pull ups (a if I could do unlimited pull uos...)
AND certain kind of abs crunches

facepalm

basically, this is NOTHING compared to my July training schedule.

ABSOLUTE BAN of: running, stairs, rowing machine, lounges and most of plank exercise.

I shit you not loveys.

In addition, I'm undergoing a therapy that is extremely painful and leaves blues all over my hips and legs - someone at the gym even asked me if I'd been in a car accident yesterday.
Anyway, I'll try to work on the arms and shoulders...sigh...

30 days shred challenge - update

I have been consistently training over the last 11 days.
in addition to the daily dose of 30daysshred, I went running 4 times (although only 4 or 5 miles each time).

Yesterday I moved to level 2 of the 30DS

thoughts: I positively hate Jillian Michaels
I have only dropped 1 pound, but then again I have to admit bingeing a lot last week.

Last night I could't do the whole lev2, I had to stop for about 30 seconds of the second strength circuit because I had cramps in my right leg.

While I will have to skip Saturday because we'll be at S mom place by the sea, I do mean to keep up with the challenge and complete it, with this one time exception.

Not good enough

Went trying wedding gown again this morning (work is FINALLY slow, hallelujah!)

Now, don't hate me for speaking the truth.

Trying wedding gowns can be, for people like us, a very taxing experience. Most of the gowns wouldn't fit, the seller couldn't even pull up the zipper, not even with me blowing out all the air in my chest.
Of course the seller is a nice woman, who'll lie straight to your face, telling you that you're beautiful, and she'll pin extra-tissue everywhere, and try to make you feel beautiful.

The fact that I had to pee badly probably didn't help. Nor the fact that my friend who came along (we're getting married the same week, so we go to try gowns together) is far skinnier than I'll ever be. Well, at least we try very different models.

Finally, how can I possibly spare 3000 Euros on a gown I'll wear once in my life? I can't claim I'm poor, I do  have that kind of money after all these years of work, I do have savings. But let's face the truth, I could feed, dress and send to school 20 kids in Nepal for one year with that kind of money. I can't spend it on a wedding gown.

(but I want it badly.
shut up you stupid asshole.
but I really love it.
yeah and you look like a giant pink and white marshmallow with it. If you were skinny, maybe you could splurge on it, but face it, you look like a fucking whale, so forget about it. Buy a premade dress for 100 USD on the net and shut the fuck up)

I must confess I'm not training enough. I keep having a slight temperature that won't go away, and that makes running very difficult.

lowest weigh of 2012

58.9kg. 129.9 lbs. BMI: 20.6.

Lowest weight of this year (so far).
I'm doing good.
Worked out last night (boot camp at home), went to the gym this morning (ran 7km (4.2 miles) fast), did pull-ups and abs).
This is the current routine:
6.15 - alarm goes off. Snooze it.
6.25 alarm again. Wake up and stumble out of bed.
three times a week I then go to the gym, stepping in at 7 AM. at 8.50 I'm at work.
the other days, I make coffee, go back to bed for breakfast and at 8 I'm at work.
Lunch is either sashimi or tuna salad.
I leave work somewhere between 9 and 11 PM
If I'm home by 10PM, I do half an hour of training with some DVD
I usually chunk down a little something - greens, or even 200kcals in carbs if I have trained at least once during the day (which usually is the case).

And then, bed.

S is away for work, and he'll spend away mondays to fridays for the next 3 months. I can see skinny-ness approaching.

Boot camp

Too busy to blog gals.... I want to put together a wedding thinspo, but in the meanwhile, check out this:

Amazing boot camp

I'll start this tonight (on top of my usual work-out at the gym)
Please let me know if anyone wants to join me!
I'll start the training program tonight, after Xmas I'll consider the food plan (depending on how I'm doing with the weight). I'd love to have someone to share the motivation with!

xoxo

Plans

Next summer will ROCK.

I'm probably going here

And I'm going to be THIS skinny

So, everything will be perfect


(oh, and Mom? last night when I told you I'm not going to have kids, I wasn't lying. Sorry!)

Thank-you silence

Tomorrow night I'll drive to the lake to see my parents and pack everything, and on Saturday evening I'll be on my flight to Doha (sigh) and then to Kathmandu (yesssss). This morning I trained for the last time, now it's two days of rest before we start hiking.

I can't even tell you how I can't wait!!

It's the third time I have the opportunity to trek in Nepal. Two years ago I was in Khumbu valley up to Everest Base camp, then last year I did the Annapurna trek.
This year it's Khumbu again, but passing through Gokyo instead of the traditional trek, then reaching Kala Pattar through Cho La (LA meas Pass).

The lake scenes of this trailer were filmed where I'll be trekking.

The silence of those places that can only be reached on foot is an experience that everybody coming from Western countries should try once in their lives.

Weightwise, I'm not doing very well; however, I built a lot of muscle and dropped as much fat. Everybody says it shows.

I'll be back on October 24, in the meanwhile, you lovely beings all take care of yourselves.

38 days away

In 38 days I'll be flying to Kathmandu.
Nepal will never lose its charm to me, and I long for the time to come.

This year we have planned a very beautiful trek which also very... challenging.

I realized two things:
1. I'm 62 kilos and that's too heavy for what I'll be doing
2. I'm not trained enough.

So I started putting more miles on the treadmill, and I'll need to train real hard over the next 37 days. Which, of course, will be overall a good thing.