Where are you now?

As I get fatter and fatter, I yearn for that vocation, that calling, that muse I used to be able to follow.

All my life I longed to be skinny, but now it's a cry within my soul, hidden deep under the fat. And now I wonder, Ana, where have you been, and will I ever see you again? You've been a gift, for better and for worse, but now you seem to have gone.

My Heart Burns

Now, beloved kids, listen carefully
I'm the voice from your pillow
I brought something along with me
I ripped it out from my chest


With this heart, I have the power
to shut your eyes
I'll sing till dawn breaks
a bright light from the sky

They come to you at night time
deamons, ghouls and dark fairies
they'll creep out of the cellar
and chase you in your bed

Now, beloved kids, listen carefully
I'm the voice from your pillow
I brought something along with me
a bright light from the sky:
My Heart Burns

They come to you at night time
and steal your small hot tears
they'll wait until the moon awakes
and pour them in my cold veins

Now, beloved kids, listen carefully
I'm the voice from your pillow
I brought something along with me
a bright light from the sky:
My Heart Burns

Sand in my brains

I go on like a robot, dragging myself to work every morning, going to the gym, smiling and answering kindly. Something's wrong, many things are wrong, and I don't know where to start in order to do some spring cleaning in this mess. And then like a ray of light I realize I long so badly for being in Nepal. For spending days away from the frantic, from the smog, from the telephones and emails. Where the soul would be in harmony with the body Where the fat wouldn't matter so much The friends are moving abroad, one by one, they've been doing that for years. I'm the only one who came back. As they leave, my loneliness increases, becoming more and more intoxicating.

POWERFUL

Due to work issues, I have been water fasting over the last 30 hours... and I finally feel like I can do it, I can go back to the place I was, and Ana will come back to me, step by step. I feel powerful.

And man, this song is for all of us...

On the first page of our story, the future seems so bright.
And this thing turned out so evil, I don't know why I'm still surprised.
Even angels have their wicked schemes and you take death to new extremes.
But you'll always be my hero, even though you lost your mind.

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn,
But that's alright because I like the way it hurts.
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry,
But that's alright because I love the way you lie, I love the way you lie.
I love the way you lie.

I love you all

PS I am fasting for at least further 15 hours, let's hope that the scale will show it!