Leave the light on for me

As soon as our friend leaves the table in the winery to go to the restroom, he asks me:
"Do you remember when we went heli-skiing and we had to jump out of the helicopter as it would not land in the place we had chosen for skiing?"
How the fuck do you think I could possibly forget something like that asshole? Of all the stupid things I've done in my life to impress stupid males, this is the one that impressed myself most of all - I think. What I answer is: "Yes, and I still don't get why didn't you make love to me, before or after that"

That kinda leaves him a bit baffled. Serves him right - I do remember the crazy fall from the helicopter, which I thought must have been at least three meters from the ground (later he said 5, but that was probably to impress his friends) and landing in all the snow powder with the blades hitting the air so loudly over my head.

But it only takes him a few second to regain his coolness and smiling like a cat saying "Why, I never thought you would have said yes"
"Shut up stupid - you know perfectly well I asked you to come home with me years before that, when we were in France and I was still hot"
"Damn you were - you still are, but in the Rome office we all still remember how you managed to look hot and innocent at the same time. And after all this years, you still keep wearing these white trousers - we've all had wet dreams about those at some point"

Fuck-you - you still don't want to say it - after all these years?  That you were in love with a chubby and that you like playing and flirting but that's it. Because that is the truth - you did marry her and had kids after all.

But the nice part is, while he still is hot, I'm finding that I truly no longer care, and that I'm having fun but I wouldn't even consider anything with him - I'm actually checking what time it is, because I don't want to come home too late in case Husband gets worried.

Our friend is back, and while later she will tell me that Vi and I "make sparks" and then he was "so smitten with me", I soon leave in the pouring rain (let's all have a silent minute in honor of my formerly white pants please), and run home, where Husband is asleep but has left the light on for me.
And I can't help how much I love Hubby 

not good enough

Inexorably sliding into unhappiness

Hiked Monte Rosa (4.550mt) on Tuesday, and that helped dropping 2kg (which I had previously gained during the weekend).
(Ski touring like that corresponds to 8 hours straight at the gym - it is fucking hard and rewarding t the same time)

"Dad, Mum hates my wedding dress, and everybody else does"
"Lucy, it's probably just the picture that doesn't make it any justice. I'm sure you'll look great with it"
(thank-you dad, I love you very much)

Before the hike I was sure I was not trained enough and worried I was goign to be a burden for Dad and Bro.
It turned out, I was in the best shape, and I had to drag Dad along.
Yet, they are both so skinny, and I am not.

Finally, after my washing machine broke last night, my landlady apparently wants to move in, which means S and i have to be out of the flat by the end of September.
With our wedding on sep4, and our honeymoon right after.

Crap.

On a better note, we'll be in Aruba 10 days in September and then in NYC for 4 days. Can't wait.

Blogger's vacation pics

So, if you're wandering what my vacation was like, well..
it was COLD (I'm the one in the middle...)

It was full of snow and very much sport dedicated

And yet, I didn't lose weight... and that's the reason...

Just give me a reason

Just give me a reason,
just a little bit's eanough
just a second, I'm not broken just fat
and I can learn to fast again


After the rehersal lunch, the load up on carbs today (tomorrow I'm leaving for the annual tour of mountaineering ski with Bro and Dad), skinny seems unreacheable.

4 days with Bro (severely underweight) and Dad (underweight).
Fuck.

PS - the lovely Ancora is back. Love, love love.

Looking for the skinny girl hidden underneath my fat

If there is one thing I am not, and I have never been, is creative.
Yet I always longed to be one of this talented people who can draw, paint, play an instrument, write something, in an amazing way.
I just don't have this kind of talents and I'm not going to set for something "good enough", so I just leave things at that.

But one thing I used to be. Skinny, that is.

Time flies, and it seems only yesterday I was the skinniest girl in my high school.

This year, I need to reshape my body into a better me.
Since I'm not managing to do it on my own, I just signed up for a check with a doctor who will give me a diet made up accordingly to my food limitations (no meat, and fish only if raw). I know that the first reaction will be that I don't need to drop any more than 2 kg and even that wouldn't be considered as "necessary" (hah hah! what do THEY know?), but I'll make things clear and set out a goal that won't be considered as mad. Then I'll have to report twice a week, so that should me my main motivation, because hey, this is like school, if you don't get good grades it can only mean you're getting bad grades, right?

So far, I'm doing very badly with the weight (I gained 1kg in barely three days), but I'm doing well with my training goals. Tomorrow I'll go skiing (freeriding) with the Sonsor (dad) and Bro, and that is likely to kick my metabolism (a full day of freeriding just the three of us can mean 2000kcals burned in addition to the basal metabolism).

I hope you're doing good lovelies, and if you live in Italy, ask books or clothes for the Befana. don't be tricked with chocolate! ;-)