The four of us went to a beautiful (but strange) place called Rosewood Sand Hill in Palo Alto. The bar was classy, but a hybrid thing where everyone was standing but no one danced, which apparently is normal in California but for the two Europeans in the group was weird?
Anyways the night quickly took off, company was great. After a first bottle of Dom Perigno (fort of 4 and admittedly I generously contributed to the emptying of the bottles) and a few Negronis, At some point the guys started talking sports and I waltzed my way towards two Israeli girls who were clearly looking for a distraction (read: they were wearing very deep a neck blouses and very red lipsticks) and made friends with them, they were super fun and told me how the ate mothers, bored with their life and so on and they were super nice.
That is until Alex, started screaming at me “Lucy stop talking to hookers and come back here”.
I saw red - turned to Jay who looked horrified and hissed at him “Seriously? Those are not hookers Jay. The one that has been sitting closer and closer to you is though”.
Somehow Jay managed to be gracious enough to fix things, inviting Sara and Dvora to have a glass with us.
Much later, after the ladies left, the real hooker came to talk to me and slipped a hand under my shirt “your boobs are so beautiful “ she said. She was very drunk and older than I expected and I think she was really looking for an easy job. I gave her a kiss on her cheek and gently told her Thank you but I was not into it. She desisted and went her way. I turned and my friends were.. speechless…
By then most of the people had left, our tab was amounting to $2,500 (seriously everything in the US is overpriced) and I made my way to the restroom.
Did I wait to check if I could hear footsteps following me? I did, out of curiosity really. No one followed me.
When I came back the Americans started talking about how they are scared of divorcing and I was puzzled. Jay especially was serious and I was like why if you don’t fuck around why would you divorce I mean your wife is a stay at home mom, why would she leave you? And that’s where he started complaining she never wants to have sex and I said wait, you do use lubricant right? Once again everyone was speechless (apparently no they did not). I was baffled and said guys your wives are no longer 20, they just don’t get that wet, lube is your best friend just don’t make a big deal of it! It’s a few bucks per pack and makes your sex life so much more enjoyable!
We also spent a long time talking how it's different to do business in the US vs Europe and how it's different for men and women - I would never go to a dinner alone with a male client in Milan, although I may do it if we were both travelling (I would still prefer to be more than 2 people). Europe is flexing towards business lunch these days... but reality is that it's easier for men (clients are 99% men so apologies if I sound biased).
The night started slowing down after that and eventually we made it back to the hotel at 2am with the usual promises of everlasting friendship (Alex was too drunk for those and anyways..) Jay and I were on the top floor at the hotel and again I thought he was giving me the eye when he said goodnight out of my room but I did my best to casually say Nite and thanks I had a great night and quicklyake it into my room to avoid any confusion.
The next day was the last. Alex never showed up at the training, I felt fine, Carlos had a bad headache and I proceeded teasing Jay saying that if his wife was going to see the bar bill he would be divorced in no time under the accusation of having paid strippers and we had a good laugh. Jay hugged me goodbye a little longer and a little closer than Carlos did but it felt good and off I went back to Europe.
I came home to find that I was still 72kg (159lbs). The week later I was in Amsterdam where they filmed me for the interview where I look like a whale and it was hard.
I should also mention that over the past four years I have not been good. As part of the overall horrible body situation, I got never-ending periods (at the worst point over one summer I experienced 70 days of bleeding, 10 days off, followed by 45 more days bleeding) with huge back pains and smarting joints. This has not helped with the weight, with my feelings towards my body (and with our sex life tbh). I have seen several different doctors who always told me it was normal and to just deal with it. Back in September I tried a new doctor who finally listened to me and immediately put me on different meds that almost stopped the bleeding, and then prescribed some more analyses. I got some results before Mountain View and they basically found a tumor but did not know what kind in my womb, so I had to do two biopsies right after Mountain View and before the Netherlands. I was seriously depressed, although because I've been through horrible years that could have been dealt with. Doctors told me in any case I shall probably have my womb removed. No cliffhangers here, I got all the biopsies done and it turned out to be a benign thing, and eventually my doctor said that I should not undergo surgery for the time being, continue the meds (bleeding has now completely stopped and I am immensely grateful) and keep the thing monitored once a year through a scan. I also got positive feedback on dealing it this way from my Brother (who's a doctor).
To add more horrors, my mom (the Panther) got a knee replaced while I was in the US, replunged in her anorexia and stopped eating. Of course she got anemic and they would not release her from the hospital, and then she escaped and went home. On the day after my biopsies I drove to my parents place and spent two days cooking stuff and freezing or putting it under vacuum so they would have food while she was using crutches. In exchange I got a lot of sneaky remarks on how fat I am.
My mom is still eating very little and is now 44kg (97lbs) and ecstatic about this.
Husband meanwhile has been there although it sometimes seems like we share a house. I mean, he has not initiated sex in years, and after the bleeding stopped back at the end of September I've tried to make this somehow more frequent but... it's a bit embarrassing to always be the one that starts things you know? He's having a hard time at work (but he's been bitching about it over the past two years), and I often feel he really resents that I've achieved a better career than he has over the past 3 years (it was always the opposite way around previously). I'm not trying to justify anything, this is just how things are. I certainly still love him and I'm invested in our relationship, although this will sound phony in the next post, please do believe me.
The thing is I've been travelling a lot and you may remember from the past some of his "lapses", when I would be away for work and he would get wasted and high and end up with a broken arm, a twisted foot, black eyes or this kind of things. This year it's easier for me because now two (beloved) nieces moved to Milan and always hang out at our place and I've been basically blackmailing them to come over to our apartment as much as possible when I'm away (it was my friend Matt who suggested this genius strategy). I had almost always worked, just last week there was a minor episode where I think he fell coming home but nothing dramatic.
Meanwhile, Jay set up a chat with me and Carlos and we kept texting....
Song for this post: Chandelier, by Sia
(forgive typos, most of this long post was typed on my iphone and my nails are too long)
