Are you thinking of me?

 Random pieces of dialogues with Jay

“Are you still so worried about divorcing as last time I saw you?”

“No actually. I followed your advice (note to reader: the advice was: buy some lubricant and use it) and have reached an agreement, we now have sex every time I want to”

I failed to choke with laughter at this because it is true that I told him to stop complaining and that if his wife did not want to have sex he should find a way to fix it but the first thing to do was use lubricant. Also this kind of agreement seems a bit sad to me but who am I to say anything? It’s not like my life is much better from this pov.

I also don’t really know why I end up having this kind of conversation with coworkers - no wonder they see me more like a Bro than a woman.

But it didn’t look like he was thinking of me like a Bro later when he kissed me.

I’m wondering Jay, are you thinking of me when you fuck her?

Still here (but on the other side of the world)

 I won't disappear that early.

Spent the week in San Francisco for work. Zero control over the calorie intake - also lots of wine. Well, I'm basically fasting today because I got some seriously soreness in my mouth, so hopefully when I get on the scale again (which will be Saturday morning) I will not cry.

San Francisco is a crazy place - most of the consulting work I do is on Tech & Media companies and well, this city lives in 2036. I mean some things are delusional, but honestly, I love the self driving cars and everything, the vibe, the topics ppl talk about. And I got to see the sea lions which were awesome (never seen any before in my life).

I also met the guy I thought was giving me the eye. I guess he was giving me the eye after all.

Next week I'll be in Lisbon for a couple days, and the week after that in Madrid - always for work. No ideas how I'm gonna stay off food and wine though.

They're calling my flight so... more to come soon

Guess who’s back?

 Do I deserve your attention? Certainly not but you all know why ai am back.

Ok you do not know the exact trigger (but you already figured the situation) so let me share this.

In February I went on a work trip to the US and it was very interesting and also fun. I met some colleagues from other countries and even thought one fancied me. This is just to record I thought this, of course I didn’t care but I thought he was giving me the eye.

The week after that I had another work event in Europe and I was filmed for an interview. They shared the final cut today.

I look like a sea lion perched on a stool.

I shall also add that the interview was not at my peak weight which was 80kg last year (I dropped 6kg before the interview and 4 more since).

I have no idea how I thought anyone could possibly fancy me.

I am fucking horrified. My mother, bless her, is right. She, incidentally, has lost further weight after a knee surgery and is now 45kg.

The worst part is you wouldn’t believe how much training I am doing.

At this point t I shall just stop eating but I also thought it was time to come back to the place that always helped me. 

I missed you lovelies

Year end

 Almost year end, and while I do not update often, I am reasonably content.

Still fat, super tired (this is one of the seasonal peaks in my job), but overall happy. As time goes by, I keep thinking I'd ideally like to work for 9 or 10 more years and then retire - hopefully live by the seaside in a quiet place. I am not sure husband has the same plans, but recently we had 4 days of bank holiday that we spent home by ourselves and he was commenting on how he had a great time and I said "one day this could be our life - would that be so terrible?".

Don't get me wrong - I'd be happy to retire even now but one must be realistic. I must match my financial needs, my life expectation and my savings. So I think 9 or 10 more years - and still, stopping work at 50 would be quite a luxury!

On a side note, we've booked a vacation in Maldives again in the first week of January - I know we keep going there but hey, this time of the year it's so good and regenerating! We did consider Carribean Islands as well, but the trouble is we still have to attend some videocalls, and anywhere with more than 4 hours difference gets difficult to manage. And Maldives are soooo relaxing!

Lastly, my beloved cat is the spoiled brat of the household - actually he behaves decently and is super affectionate.

Wish you all the best for this year end, dear readers

In memory of Sinead O'Connor

 I haven't been posting for a while, and I thought I'd do this one in memory of Sinéad O'Connor, recently passed. 

Sinéad, you lived a strange life, and certainly your mental health was not the greatest. I grew up with Nothing Compares 2 U, and although I was a nerd about music as a teenager, I couldn't name another song of yours if my life depended on it. And this makes me think of how hard it must be to live a life where any stranger you meet thinks they know you as they identify you with a 3 minutes song (written by Prince btw if I remember correctly). It must be very insane - it must be difficult even for a writer who wrote one successful book, but no writer has ever had the reach of that song in the Western world I think.

You probably hated that song, didn't you?

As I age, I'm more and more content that I have not had One moment in time that defined my success. It is so much better to have enjoyed many lesser moments, to have built a number of memories on your own and with your loved ones. Also if you had on trait that was so strong and defined you and then you lose it as you age, it must be super hard. Think about how Whitney Huston had lost her voice in her last years? or super beautiful model who inevitably get older?

That's why I love work. Because work is, after all, one of the thing I've been successful in. It will eventually decline, but by that time I'll be fed up and ready to retire and move on.

Anyhow - all is good here, or at least decent. Husband went out and got shitfaced one night when I was in the UK for work, got all bruised in the face and got a dislodged jaw and hurt a knee, but let's face it, nothing really new there. 

The cat is always adorable and we love it to pieces.

We fared reasonably well through Tuesday storm, meaning that half of my green no longer exists, we'll probably have to replace the furniture on the balcony and I spent a day cleaning up, but considering the incredible ice storm we had, we were very lucky.

Enjoy the last stretch of summer dear readers.