Gah

small steps are okay.

but I'm starving and yet still 133.2lbs / BMI 21.1 (that would be 60.4kg)

run, run, run

I'm friends with a monster

Slowly, very slowly, super slowly, but yet the scale numbers are getting lower.

I'm starving myself, only drop little by little. Also because I binge every fucking weekend, but in the end, I'm still losing weight. That's what counts.



Also, I'm training like crazy. I have a 10km run on April 6 which happens to be a work event, and I aim at closing it in 54 minutes. (back in 2005, in Lyon, with a BMI of 17.2, I did 10km in 48 minutes. but current BMI is an embarrassing 21.2, so forget about anything below 54 minutes)



For the time being, I've also decided to cut the alcohol entirely until this run (not that I was drinking much anyways, usually a couple beers on Friday nights but apparently that's too much anyways)



Also, my friend and I completed the 30 days squat challenge and in April we'll start the 30 days abs challenge. Clearly, that's on top of the running and the rest of exercise I'm and will be doing.

I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy

)

Lowest weight

while I'm ashamed to admit this
I have reached the lowest weight so far this year.

(I'm ashamed because this so-called low is 60.7kg - 133.8lbs. Meaning BMI 21.3 UGH).
Yet it's still better this slow slow slow loss than any gaining.

Don't forget your vitamins, your water and your km to run. And say goodbye to Grandfather

My Grandfather finally passed away yesterday.
There's nothing there to be said, besides that at least he went in peace.

I've been good with my training program. I'm running 21km per week (gonna increase that progressively, but I don't think I'll get above 25km). Basically I run 5 to 7km twice weektime early in the morning and 10km on Sunday afternoons. On top, I do pull-ups, abs and lounges after running, and I do the 30days shred by Jillina Michales twice during the week. (Basically it's 3 circuits, each with 3min strength, 2min cardio and 1min abs, but it is intense).

S is gonna be in Rome for the next two weeks; I expect a significant upside for my restricting, although I will join him next weekend and man, Roman food is the most exquisite in the world, so that may be dangerous.

On Saturday I went shopping and refused to purchase trousers - until I lose a lot of weight, that is.

I started 2014 at 140.4lbs (63.7kg, BMI22.3) . SHAME ON ME

I'm currently at 135.6lbs (61.5kg, BMI 21.5).

On April 6 I'm running a 10km run with my boss. My goal is 55 minutes. My weight goal is to be 57kg by then, and 55kg bu May15 (when I'll go to Crete on vacation).

This is achievable. It is. So yes, water, vitamins and training.

bad

Lana Del Rey is killing me

Work is killing me

Being fat is killing me

Kiss me all before you go, summertime sadness
I just wanted you to know
that baby, you're the best

Mid year moderation meeting at work. Turns out I'm the best of my group. Yet, there may be no place for promotions. Which I already did not get last year.

I'm fat. I'm ashamed of my fatness.

Just wanna go back to when I was 16 and skinny
Living in the UK summertime with Kat, who really was the best at that time.

I really really really feel miserable in my body. I wish I could just no longer care about work and focus on training and dieting.

I cannot die, because then I'd stay fat forever. Nothing scares me more.

Kat is gone, my sweet 16 are gone, the time when I was skinny's gone.

All that's left is this fat sitting on my belly, on my bootie, on my legs, every fucking where.