Not Afraid

This is probably the most thinspiring thing I can think of these days.


I'm not afraid to take a stand




When I say 'em or do somethin I do it, I don't give a damn
what you think, I'm doin this for me, so fuck the world!!


...


And I just can't keep living this way
Sooo starting today, I'm breaking out of this caaaaage
I'm standing up, I'ma face my demons
I'm manning up, I'ma hold my ground
I've had enough, now I'm so fed up
Time to put my life back together right now!

It was my decision to get clean, I did it for me.



I love you guys. Let me know you're there, 'cuase these are hard days.

Sunday morning: pear and gym

Ladies and gentlemen, please hold your breath..... Lucy's getting on her scale...

124.4lbs

Step down. Step up again. The number is still 124.4

I grin like an idiot and watch myself in the mirror. Yes, my tummy is flatter. I guess the fruit + veggies idea is working.
I also burnt 400kcals last night at the gym.
The only bad thing is, I have to go to work again today and tnight I'm leaving once more. Plus, I've barely slept because of an eye infecton that hurts like hell. But seriously, who cares? I'll be 120lbs or less by June 20, it's a promise to myself.

I love you skinnies.
I'm eating a pear for breakfast, then I'm off to the gym before work!!

I believe someone is going to help me

I failed yesterday. Hell, I failed through the whole week.
This needs to stop. Hell, I'm back to 127.4lbs. Almost 58 kg.
Since this morning, I’m only allowed fruits and veggies. No sugar, no oil, no sauce, NO BULLSHIT.
The choice is between FATTIE and SKINNIE.

I know where I wanna stand.

I’m working from the office today, but I stopped by at the market this morning and bought a bag of strawberries and apricots.
Will have salad at noon.
Will hit the gym tonight (won’t have much time though, I’ll likely be able to burn 300-400 kcals).
Will hit the gym for an intense cardio session tomorrow morning (when I do this, I usually manage to burn 800kcals).

And tomorrow afternoon I’ll leave again, back to the place I was this week, but I will be strong. Actually, the director will be there, and he’ll make me work like crazy, but he knows me well and will force me to go running EVERY morning and will not let me eat carbs. He’s an ex-fattie now super toned, and totally thinks I could use dropping 15lbs.
And he’s hot.
This kind of hot, actually.

(ok, he has less pecs than HJ, but still has these looks, especially when angry)

(oh, and yes, I know I need to get laid. I just don't have the time to)

Madness

This job is crazy.

Some say to survive it, you need to be as mad as a hatter.

But I lost my much-ness.
Or maybe just my skinny-ness. Which is the same.

I wanna lose a lot of weight. Fast.

“This is impossible” Alice said
“Only if you believe it is” repied the Mad Hatter

If I’m 120lbs by June 20, I’ll do the futterwacken at the regatta.

Oh well, at least I went running this morning. The worst thing is not bing able to weight in the morning.

I thought I was going to get laid...

…instead they fucked me up.

June 2nd is bank holiday in Italy. I took Thursday and Friday off, and bought a ticket, and planned to visit Boyfriend in France, for a long weekend of debauche (how shall I put it in English? Crap, let’s just say that sex was the main course on the weekend menu).
Instead, an emergency popped out at work, so this morning I left. I’m now in central Italy (east coast), no clue how long I’m gonna stay here (the possibilities range between 10 days and 3 months…).
I didn’t do too badly over the weekend: I was 125.6lbs this morning.
Even though last night, knowing I was leaving, Steve and I got drunk on beers, but before reaching drunkenness he coaxed me into eating French fries. I still stayed below 800kcals, and I hit the gym before going out.

However, while staying here, I’ll have to eat breakfast, lunch and dinner with my colleagues. Every day. Possibly over weekends as well. Also, I won’t have a scale while I’m here.
This, my friends, is going to SUCK.