I don't need your civil war!

..and I don't feel fine.

part of the division I work in is leaving. Not as in a spin off: each Director and Partner is seeking a different job on their own.
The problem is, our division is deeply fractured by an internal civil war.
The problem is, I belong to the part that has lost the war and that is leaving.

I didn't chose side: they simply started planning me on their jobs (Wolverine especially), and then the others started thinking that I belonged to Wolverine and eventually I was "marked".
This was okay in the past, I mean, my choice would have been different but I did find my place so I thought it would work.
But now Wolverine and his gang are dropping dead like flies at the end of the summer, and I don't know what will become of me.

(remind yourself, that you can't trust freedom when it's not in your hands
and everybody's fighting for their promised land!
I don't need your civil war!!!
It feeds the rich, while it buries the poor!
...look at the leaders we follow,
look at the lies we swallowed)


Luckily, Steve belongs to the other side, so at least the risk is balanced.
But I really don't know what I'm going to do. This happens with the worst possible timing: the job market here is non existent right now.


On a more positive note, Wolverine prepared me a new training schedule which is VERY hard, but so far I'm managing to stick to it. There it goes:

Day 1 - 10km running at 10.5km/hour. No stops allowed
Day 2 - 2km warm up; 10 times 400mt at 12.5km/hour, with intervals of 1minute and 30 seconds between each 400mt, walking at fast pace (6-6.5km/hour)
Day 3 - two times 5km or 3 times 3km, at 11.5km/hour.
Extra day: 1 hour of cardio

Let's hope this will boost my metabolism.
Weight is stable. At least I'm not gaining. Am kinda worried about Xmas, but I really hope to manage to put in some extra training sessions.

There must be an angel looking over me

Just when I've decided that since I'm working all alone, in a lonely room, I'll skip lunch altogether, Jules calls me.

"Lucy! come have lunch with us"

Jules is my co-worker at the moment, and he's adorable. I can't say "No thanx", because he'll know I've skipped, and he'll wonder why do I prefer to sit alone than have lunch with friends.

So I go, and I order a pizza.

800 kcals of fat, ready to stick to my hips for the next 80 years or so.

And then, a miracle happens, and my pizza doesn't come. The boys get theirs, apparently there's been some mix-up with orders, and mine doesn't come. After half diet coke and 40 minutes, I have to go back to the office because I have to attend a meeting. I promise I'll grab something on the way back (of course I won't), and I leave, fasting and safe.

Thank-you, my angel

PS. am still over 130lbs, although slightly. BMI: 20.9

I feel I can reasonably drop 5lbs by Xmas, but facing Xmas break will be complicated.